A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a question and that is if my and my gf stopped having sex like going cold turkey would that cause problems in our relationship. So far it has I've been extremely frustrated not being able to have sex with her and she likes or should I say loves to tease me and get me angry. I love this girl to death but the problem was is that he haven't had sex in about a month and I had recently found out she cheated on me of course this news was horrible and hearing the details was worse I know many of you are thinking I should dump this girl an blah blah but I love her so damn much. Her reason for cheating was because I had made her look like the bad guy when she was the victim to during a huge fight we got into that the campus cops(college) were involved and they saw me as the victim because I have scratches on me and she had nothing even through I forcefully held her and shook her and yelled that she was a bitch all because she thought I was looking at another girl when I wasn't. She had told me I'll regret making her look like the bad guy but she never planned on cheating on me. All she was going to do was talk to a guy I hate and she had told me she slept with him because he kept annoying her to sleep with him and she kept sayin no but because she was sexually fustrated she got aroused when he pulled out his penis. After what had happened she felt extremely bad and sorry of course I was pisses at her for what she has done but I loved her she came up to me crying because she felt horrible for cheating on me (note: she is the tough girl type and usually never cries for anything) so seeing that made me see that she realized that she loved me and didn't want to lose me and niether did I. I love this girl so much I don't want any post tellig me to leave this girl. But advice in helping make our relationship grow more and become stronger please
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2011):
 "she came up to me crying because she felt horrible for cheating on me (note: she is the tough girl type and usually never cries for anything) so seeing that made me see that she realized that she loved me"
or she was manipulating you to continue to punish you.
I love affection. I love sex. I love the power I have over men when I give them a blow job. I can easily say NO when I love a man to another man but not to the man I love.
I fear that as much as you love her it's not flowing back to you from her as much...
It does not sound like a healthy relationship but I get not wanting to leave her... (at least till you find someone who treats you better and does not play games)... so I suggest you go to therapy for yourself and together as a couple.
At the minimum you both need anger management.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 At first i suspect this relationship is toxic but I understand passionate love can cause us to do stupid things. Think whenever a married person gets murdered the cops would contact the spouse first.
Your relationship will get stronger if you both take responsibilities for your own emotions.
Whenever there is a drought period like no sex, it is always awkward. Men usually feel entitled to their space, or afraid of asking space so they say nothing hoping that girl just knows that it's stress, or being busy in school. The woman however, assumes the worst when the guy pulls away, thinks he's losing interest, thinks he's looking at other girls. Before the sex was good and frequent, now it's nothing, it would feel like the end of the relationship, so take the initiative to comfort her before she starts worrying. You have to remember the void, is the scariest feeling in the world. Make her think it's okay to wait and that there are better times ahead. Plan ahead for a weekend getaway. Plan for fall break, thanksgiving, etc.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Ok well you have made up your mind therefore I am not going to tell you to leave her, your relationship, your choice. But getting down to it, why have you both not had sex in a month? If you are trying to work things out well then this is a key part to a relationship. Plus she is meant to be showing you now how sorry she is and trying to earn your trust back after cheating on you, but instead she is teasing you sexually and this is a very horrible thing to do for a girl. She knows she can torment you, and it sounds to me like she is enjoying the attention way to much.
If you want this relationship to work well then she needs to start working hard on earning back her trust and you need to forgive her completely for what she done and not bring it up again, move on like it never happened, yes I am aware this will take time, but she needs to prove that she won't do it again and change her attitude. You both need to communicate openly with each other and be honest with one another. Communication is the key to a good relationship so open up to each other about what you both want and work hard to repair the relationship.
As for the fight you both had, the both of you where victims, you should never have pushed her violently and she shouldn't have scratched you, you both should feel bad about this and instead of blaming each other work on the issues that caused this so that you both can become stronger.
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