A
female
age
30-35,
*aileyLove
writes:Please bear with me... I know this is long, but I DESPERATELY need your help!Well, I am having a little bit of boy trouble. Y'see I've been crushing on this boy since last year. But then I got over him because I thought that he was a stuck up snob who was a womanizer. Well, a few weeks ago he and I were in a situation where we had to talk to each other face to face. I've never said a word to him before that. But when I talked to him we seemed to like each other a lot. We hung out the whole night and exchanged numbers. He texted me that night and the rest of the week. He texted ME, I never texted him first except for today. But he says I'm beautiful all the time, and he wants to prove it. And he always calls me his cutie or his sweetie. But now I'm confused. Does he really like me? I've been traumatized by players for the past 3 years, am I falling for another one?He's REALLY nice and comes from a very kind family which means he might've been raised right. He's extremely smart, and he and I have so much in common. I called him out on flirting and he admitted it and said he likes to flirt with pretty girls like me. I was like, "Soo... You get a lot of girls?" but I tried to believe that he just misworded that text. But he assured me that he doesn't get girls, (which I can believe because he's so annoying and weird.) but when he asked if I get guys I told him that I only get guys who want to get in my pants. He claimed that he hates boys who harass girls and promised that he wasn't like that. He said twice about how they're assholes.He's kind of a smooth talker but only when he's complimenting how "amazing" I am. He compliments me ALL the time, I don't mind, it makes me feel good about myself... But how do I know if he's a player?Does he sound like one?He's the right age to be one. In the middle of college. I HAVE seen him with whom I'd suspect to have been his girlfriend last year. I saw her at the end of last year, and the beginning of this year. After that, I never saw her again. So, maybe he really is a one-woman guy.I'm hanging out with him this weekend... I think he might try to kiss me... Any advice for a girl who's desperate not to get played again?
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crush, exchanged numbers, flirt, player, text, womaniser Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (29 September 2011):
KaileyLove is verified as being by the original poster of the question Haha, yeah, I'm so confused with this kid. Like, I dunno if he's just nice or if he's putting on a good show.Well, I didn't like his dad so I guess I pinned him out as to being just like his dad. But I also heard some things about him being kind of stuck up, but it never occurred to me while we were hanging out that he was like that. I used to see him talk to, hang out, or stare at a lot of girls. Maybe I misjudged him on that. Because he's so nice he probably was just being nice to those girls. Maybe it was me trying to get over him too.I was trying to be nice so I just went over to say hi and walked away, he's the one who followed me and then I was the one who asked to hang out. No, he says things and I'll agree with him.The text where he said, "I like to flirt with pretty girls like you."I thought it was smooth too, I thought that he maybe was just saying what I wanted to hear. But I really can't read him. I'm not sure if he's being sincere or just covering himself.Haha, I could ask for all the advice in the world and I could Google player traits until my heart gives out, but it'll never prepare me for what might happen, and it'll never make me feel any better. Blahhhhhhh! I hate boys.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 September 2011):
 You are probably very beautiful and he is free to express his mind. For a guy to fall in love they need emotional connection. What makes him emotionally attracted to you is that you are confident inside and out. You have to realize that you are also playing the game. We all hope that we play fair and no one gets hurt. For some people, it takes a nano second to feel that kind of attraction, for others, it takes time to develop. No one just loves because it's the right thing to do, or because it's time. You need to find out if you like every aspect of him, because you would be short changing yourself if you just wait and fall in love with any non-player. Hear "player" means someone who fools you and make you fall in love, but with no intention of a relationship. When I say we are all players I mean we fish, search, and decide who we like, not just love because a person is nice and won't hurt you.
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A
female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (29 September 2011):
Hiya,I saw you wrote that you 'DESPERATELY' needed advice and was compelled to write to you! I've been there! We've all been there! lolIn honesty, Im getting mixed signals about this guy. He seems like he could really be both - nice genuine guy or a complete womaniser! ... hmm...Im curious as to why, before you knew him, you picked him out as being a stuck up womanizer?Was that your instinct or was it you trying not to fancy him anymore? Be honest with yourself here, because it will help you in the long run, trust me on that.Also, why did you 'have' to talk to one another? And did you have to for the entire night? It doesnt really matter that he came from a nice family, some of the worst guys have too!Id look more at whether you find you have things in common with him.. or is he always saying he likes the things you like... theres a difference!Oh, and what text are you trying to believe he misworded? Ive fallen for a few 'annoying and weird' guys myself.. and believe it or not... just like how you find it cute so do a lot of women. Plus, his comments about not getting girls, and not liking men who try seduce women... all seems a bit smooth to me.Yes, you said anyway that hes a smooth talker, and thats great that he makes you feel special. But just keep in mind that it can be a key trait of a womanizer!Okay... so now I am giving you mixed signals... sorry.Basically, go have fun. Enjoy the kiss etc! But just hold onto your heart and dont get too invested until you know he is. And dont ask him!! Way too soon for that! lolPart of 'playing the game' is taking the bet remember! ;)
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