A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'd love some advice on how having a child changes a person's relationship in terms of sex and attraction. I'm 16 weeks pregnant to my bf of 2 years, it's our first baby and although it was unplanned, he's very happy about becoming a father, and our relationship is great at the moment. We're still having great sex, even though I feel self-conscious about my growing tummy :( I'm worried about how our sex life will change as the bump gets bigger, and once I have a saggy, stretch-marked belly after giving birth. How can I keep my bf attracted to me? I plan to get back in shape as soon as I can, but am worried this will take months and months. I have tried to talk to my bf about my worries, but he gets really cross and says he loves me and will love me no matter how my body changes. I tried explaining that it makes me feel self-conscious and unsexy that my body is changing, and that I can't wear short tight tops anymore, and that I'm worried how things will be in terms of our sex-life, but he doesn't seem to understand or know how to reassure me. What should I do? Thanks.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Weight gain and stretch marks are genetic. If your mom have them, then you would probably have it too. You could try wearing a belly support and put dr. Palmer's belly cream religiously, just to say you did your best because nothing is a guarantee. I gained 28 pounds for my pregnancy and lost all that weight after breast feeding 2 weeks straight. My ex husband still wanted sex and thought the silvery stretch marks were beautiful. It was me who didn't want sex. I read that onion juice gets rid of stretch marks but so far I am not disgusted by my stretch marks so much that I have to go to great lengths to get rid of them. Sex life could continue to the last day of pregnancy. If you come to this site you will hear jerks leaving or cheating on their pregnant girlfriends. This certainly would not reassure you. How about pregnancy books that show how glamorous women look in there? Or prenatal yoga. Something like that would empower the feminine in you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): OP you just need to stop, you're pregnant not obese. Not every woman gets stretch marks and sag is fairly easily gotten rid of with a post natal wrap.
OP your tummy isn't growing your womb is and it's a beautiful thing so try and stop focusing on the superficial. I wouldn't blame your boyfriend OP I'd be very insulted and pissed off if my girlfriend started acting so insecure but I'd forgive her because of the pregnancy hormones. But she'd only get so far with that excuse. She'd have to have a very low opinion of me to think I'd suddenly be turned off her because she's pregnant, I would think she'd know me better than that.
Then again OP I don't know your boyfriend maybe he's an uncaring superficial asshole and if he is why are with him?
The biggest threat to your relationship is your self esteem and your insecurity, not your physical shape. If he is going to have to listen to this for the next 5 months you'll wear him down and you may end up causing what you fear.
Want to know how to deal with it? Stop worrying about something that's not actually an issue and probably won't become an issue. Do him a favour too OP and moan to someone else. It's all good at the moment you're still having a good sex life but that will quickly change if he has moaning depressed pregnant woman constantly questioning his attraction and desire for her. That would be far more off putting than any physical change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): He's reassuring you or trying to by telling you he loves you no matter what you look like. He's willing to stick by you even though the pregnancy was unplanned (a lot of people run a mile and make all sorts of pathetic excuses) that should tell you all you need to know to reassure you. Stop worrying so much and just enjoy what you have which is a loving boyfriend and a baby on the way which will make you a little family. Body change is inevitable with pregnancy and will continue to be until you have given birth, and until then there is nothing you can do about it, so its pointless making that your priority at the minute, the number one priority should be the pregnancy and providing a stable environment to bring your baby into :)
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