A
female
age
30-35,
*kyLaBleu
writes: Danny and I made a year May 27 and have been engaged almost a year. Tuesday he said he wanted to marry me and was in love with me and wasn't changing his mind. The wedding date was June 16. Well Wednesday he woke up to a small argument between my mom and I about the wedding, about money. She was unable to give me the wedding she wanted to but we didn't care. We wanted a smaller wedding anyway. (My parents and his were splitting costs). My dad gave me the rest of the money I owed on my dress and I went into our room. He asked what was going on and I acted as if it was nothing which it was and told him about the argument (he wanted to know) but i made it seem as if it was no big deal and then happily told him about the dress. He got upset and said he just wanted to marry me nothing else mattered. He seemed like something was wrong a little later and usually I leave it be but this time I pushed it....he left claiming he needed space....well Thursday he came back and made no sense. He did not know what he wantes or if he was in love and broke it off....however he came to ask for more space but Dad basically made him make a decision. He packed the rest of his things and left. Danny told his friend there was a 75 percent chance he would come home and he felt i didn't accept his lifestyle. He is into tats and piercings and such and I am a little more conservative. I admit I may have come off unsupportive at times and am sincerely willing to prove I am fully supportive of anything he does (within reason lol wont suppprt him in something dangerous haha) but ive cried since he left (wednesday) and I found hope in what his friend told me. Is that a good thing about the 75 percent thing? He said look at it like this...75 is better than 50, and if someone says there is a 75real percent chance of rain its going to rain. So if ya like rain keep your head up and the rain will come.(his friend said that). But I want yalls opinion! I am deeply in love and miss him and want him back. Please answer. I don't want to hear your opinions on our age. Just help and advice. I am deeply in love and I want him home.
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female
reader, SkyLaBleu +, writes (4 June 2012):
SkyLaBleu is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well basically he wanted to give me the best wedding he could. But nothing hugely extravagant. But he wanted me to have my wedding dress....as far as the argument....it was more my mom being upset her job was about to end.(she's a seasonal waitress, crawfish season
) My dad told her to leave me alone. Like I'd say well we can just get marries here at the house and she'd start yapping for no reason..mbut thats my mom lol and i love her. So any advice on how to get him home?
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Maybe he was worried about the cost of the wedding, if he left after waking to the sound of an argument between you and your mother about the costs involved he may have felt overwhelmed.
I don't think you are giving us the whole story, you say he doesn't care about the wedding, he said he just wants to marry you, it seems to me he doesn't care about the dress, or any of the other stuff that usually goes with weddings. If you are expecting more from people than they can afford to pay I think he may have done the right thing.
Ask yourself, is this about "The Wedding" or being married. Consider what people in love did during the depression, get married, but without all the debt inducing hoo harr. Wear the outfit he likes best on you, invite close family members and friends, have a civil ceremony, or a shorter church service as part of regular services, (some churches do this as a matter of course), celebrate afterwards with something a little different, English Afternoon Tea theme or something. Use your imagination, dazzle him with your frugal ways, show him its not all about the money, but more about the love.
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A
female
reader, SkyLaBleu +, writes (4 June 2012):
SkyLaBleu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he's not a bad guy. And yes I would because everyone deserves a second chance. He got bored just sitting around and got cold feet about the wedding. The latter is the honest reason he left. I need to know what to do to give a better chance he will come back. He is my best friend, my lover, and my everything. What he did was wrong. But my question is that will he come back.most likely and what can i do in the mean time to make sure he does at least a little?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 ...And, would you take him back if he does come back ? After he just took and disappear on you few days before the wedding ? ... Would you take him back , knowing that there is a 75 % , or 57 % , ot 68 %, or whatever percentage , that he may do it again any time ? As soon as he is " bored " again ?... that there is a 75 % or ANY percent at all that one nice morning you may wake up and not find him in your bed, because once again he has left for unknown destination and duration ?....
My, I admire you. You have nerves of steel. I could not do that , after his prenuptial antics.
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A
female
reader, SkyLaBleu +, writes (4 June 2012):
SkyLaBleu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLike I said we don't have the money so there was no wedding planning at that moment.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 There is a huge difference between needing space and calling off the wedding. I don't know anyone getting bored one month before the wedding. People would be frantically doing last minute additions, helping out, and giving spouses support.
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A
female
reader, SkyLaBleu +, writes (3 June 2012):
SkyLaBleu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell no her job is about to be out....so any money we have now has to go on bills. But no he has only told his friend that and doesnt think his friend will tell me. Trust me on that. I talked to his friend today and Danny said he doesn't know when he is coming home and that he left because he got bored just sitting at the house and needed space, along with everything else. But he didnt say that just not to sound like a jerk. Just trust me on that.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (3 June 2012):
When you decide to marry someone, your heart should be 100% in it or you are out. I don't know if he is telling his friend on purpose so that you would hear it. The number does not make sense. He made the number high enough so that he doesn't look like a jerk. If he walks out on the marriage oh too bad it was that 25 percent that screwed it up. Love is not a probability game. I understand being nervous about the future but walking out is not acceptable at all. Is it possible that your mom doesn't really like him and feels hesitant about spending all that money on a marriage that won't work out long term? This is a delicate moment in your life but think about your future. You would not be able to trust him again in your life. You don't want a man leaving you at home because of stress while you worry if he would come back at all.
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