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My ex told me I could either tell the guy myself or he would send the picture.

Tagged as: Crushes, Sex, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *weetLipsX0 writes:

So I made a horrible decision to have intercourse with my ex...for the last time like 3 days ago..after I met a new guy. My ex was stupid and took pictures of me. He then later found out that I was talking to this new guy. So now he said he's going to send those pictures to this new guy I'm talking to because I "cheated on him" even though we broke up in April.

My ex told me either I could tell the guy myself with him on 3way or he would send the picture. What do I do?

He's not asking for anything ..so I can't say it's completely black mail. He even told him he's not this kind of person to do this ..and I asked him what he would get in return of this ..he said he would feel a little satisfaction from it. Is there anything I can do?

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (1 June 2012):

Myau agony auntfirstly, dont let people take pictures of you having sex..ever.

Secondly ditch the ex

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (1 June 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYour ex wasnt "stupid", you are the one who made a very bad judgement call by having sex with him and then allowing him to take pictures. Look, if he wants he can do anything with the pictures so now its your decision how far you want to go to stop him. You can deny everything in front of the new guy and hope that he trusts you. Prepare for it to get nasty because if your ex is out to make life miserable for you, he can. If you think he can do greater damage, then go to the police and tell them that you are being harassed by your ex over the pictures. Whatever it is, you made the bed, now you have to lie on it.

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A female reader, Wisdom Australia +, writes (1 June 2012):

Wisdom agony auntSweetpea, irrelivant of age what he is doing is illigal. Go to the police and have this sorted out. Try to make better choices in the future

Good luck

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (1 June 2012):

janniepeg agony auntIf you are really 16-17, your ex is in possession of child pornography. Consult a lawyer what to do if he really sends it to the guy. The guy who gladly accepts the picture is stupid and is putting himself in serious trouble too. I agree, don't get bothered with it. You know you can get very vindictive with him but to avoid unnecessary drama and embarrassment of your private body being shown around, telling your ex about the legal troubles should he proceed with what he is doing, should scare the heck out of him. You just need to prove that he possessed these pictures and that no one hacked into his computer and email account.

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A female reader, PrettyGirl_2 United States +, writes (1 June 2012):

Thanks so much ...ur completely right ...I made myself look like a fool to make him he think it bothered me ...good thing is ..I'm completely ignoring him...& I'm moving on . I learned from this mistake

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012):

"He's not asking for anything ..so I can't say it's completely black mail."

He is asking for you to humiliate yourself for his personal satisfaction. I'm not sure why you're so eager to apologize for someone so sadistic. Personally, I'd pretend it doesn't bother you and ignore him. He's doing this to get a reaction from you and if you don't react, he won't get any pleasure out of it and he likely won't send the picture.

I also have to add that while your boyfriend is clearly manipulative, is he really "stupid"? Don't pose in pictures and then blame the fallout of it on him. Don't claim to be separated with him and then have sex with him. Take a little responsibility for your choices, make better ones, and don't be a victim to someone who clearly doesn't respect you.

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