A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear all.Your thoughts would be welcome.I recently got out of a very volatile relationship with a controlling and mentally abusive man. I lost my confidence,and was constantly worried,but with the support of my freinds, i finally got awayI have now met someone new.well in fact i knew him years ago,and we found each other online after years. He is lovely, caring, intelligent. we have been on a couple of great dates.The thing is is that im terrified of gettng involved again and feel awkward and shy around him. Im attracted to him, but am scared to have sex with him, as i slept with my ex quickly and got emotionally involved amd thats when he started to take me for granted and i got terribly hurt I am so scared that i almost want to break it off. He is Understanding. I have told him why. I told him i don' t want to rush in.He said he gets it, but has tried a few times to talk me into sex.im worried he may dissapear if or when i do sleep with him? Or that he may change.please adviseThanks.x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): If he is a good guy and right for you then he will probably wait several months. You have the right to hold out as long as you need to. But its also understandable if he gets tired of waiting and breaks things off before then. You are basically asking him to pay the extra price because you gave too much to your last guy. It is great if this guy chooses to put in the extra effort now but its really not his problem.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 February 2014):
 He is not understanding if he can't control himself and ask you for sex again. If you still have PTSD syndrome lingering you should take it really slow until you can trust him and you know that you are exclusive with each other. Keep your dates in a public place because if you agree to go to each other's houses he will try it again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): I've been in the same situation as you. If he really is right for you, he would wait no matter what. Listen to your instincts and your emotions only you have lived through what you have, this is what would have thought you what you really deserve and need, that's why you ended that relationship.
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