A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what else to do with my life. I am at my wits end. I just came from a break-up from my 4 year relationship and I am trying to meet new people. I am in a location where it's really difficult to find a new partner. It's either people are already married or are engaged or available but are only looking for a fling. I am trying to meet people only in a religious site and I actually met one that I like.We have been exchanging messages since December and were having good conversations about ourselves and our faith. He seems to be my ideal guy so far. Last week, he told me he joined the site to look particularly for a wife and that he just came out from the seminary. So I thought it was a good start for us to share more details about our past. I told him I had 2 past relationships and told him how I met them. At first I don't want to say it but I just proceeded coz I thought it would be better for me to be honest right away.Today he replied to me shortly and said that he thinks we are not a good match and said good luck to me. What did I do wrong? Did I shock him from saying that I had 2 exes? I am brokenhearted now. He is the only guy who never asked me about my sex life and who seems very intellectual and was serious in finding a mate.If i find a person who likes me, they are only interested in sex. If I meet a person who is the ideal one, he rejects me because of my past. How can I meet someone who is the average only? I feel like rubbish.Any advise please dear aunts, highly appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 February 2014):
I think you are over generalizing things but then again I guess your situation and location doesn't leave much room for choices. I'd say next time hold up on the details of a sex life. Most PEOPLE don't actually want to know details about one's past sex life straight away. At the same time this is how dating is, you just have to keep trying until you find someone who is willing to work through these issues and discussions. Keep at it, I am sure you will find someone :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2014): It is really hard to meet people on line, and although your not living in the best area, try anything that gets you meeting people face to face. All it takes is a couple of friends who introduce you to their friends and then you
soon you should have a friendship group if not a partner immediatley.
Don't be sad about this man, ? Would you really want to be with such a judgemental person? You have done nothing wrong & just been honest and if he can't deal with that, he has a problem not you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 February 2014):
 Don't be discouraged by one or two men you met. I would actually be put off when a man says he is looking for a wife online, then be upset that she's not a virgin. I understand it is a Christian site but it's highly unrealistic that a woman your age having no experience. Being a Christian doesn't mean you have an 8 ball telling you which man would be the one you marry, and when you meet him.
Don't be fooled by the idea that in a christian site you would find a decent man wanting a relationship. People can say anything to make people or even themselves feeling like they are Christians. Even creeps, perverts, or crazy fanatic people are in those sites.
I don't find anything bad about people being interested in sex. We have needs and it's healthy to be horny. What you should look for are men who aren't afraid to show their sexual sides but also want to develop a relationship at the same time. If you click, then there would be a progression of dating, or maybe long term. If it doesn't, it's life. You can't be compatible with every single guy you meet. If you open yourself and be vulnerable then you open up to a wider range of average guys. I would tell you honestly though, the average guy is wary of anything long term. It only makes sense that they would only consider long term if you are both happy. You may need to look for guys in the nearest city. It's harder to look for the average guy if you only target Christian guys. I've met several guys who are looking for sex but then something in me melted their hearts to give relationships a try. So don't write them off completely right away.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (17 February 2014):
I'm afraid you'll find it hard to find Mr average today.When I was a teenager "sex life" was never mentioned to the opposite sex,you had to "romance" a girl,it was the done thing at the time.Now it's all changed there's no romance and the boy expects sex as soon as possible and girls are forced to give in.Good luck in your search,you sound like a decent girl.
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