A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 6 months now. Before him, I have never had a boyfriend and basically no sexual experience; unlike him. He is 25, I just turned 22. Because of the fact I haven't done anything with anyone yet, we have taken it slow and I am grateful he has been so sweet and patient. Yesterday, I finally plucked up the courage to give him oral sex. I was extremely nervous but, he seemed to really enjoy it. When he finished, I tried swallowing for the first time as well. And while he 'recovered', I kissed back up his body and he told me how amazing it was and that he loved me... then it got awkward.I smiled at him and went to give him a kiss and he did one of the turning the head moments and I ended up kissing his cheek. I backed off and asked him what was wrong and he said it would be weird to kiss me right after a blow job...Really? I got a little offended. It hurt my feelings that he wouldn't even give me a peck. I view sex or physical intimacy as a very serious thing. I was so nervous and scared to give him a blow job. I was so happy that he like it and just wanted to kiss him. Why would that be so gross. 1st off, there wasn't any cum in my mouth; 2nd, I kissed my way back up his body, so it wasn't like I had just gone from his penis directly to his mouth; and 3rd, I wasn't trying to get him to have a full blown make out session! I just wanted a little more intimacy with him. He doesn't seem to get why it kind of hurt my feelings. I just want some insight about this subject. Why is it such a big deal for some men?
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blow-job, kissing, never had a boyfriend, oral sex, swallow Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2014): I'm kinda the same as your guy, just call us chicken
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): You didn't do anything wrong. It's a guy-thing. There is still some residue, and the taste that isn't exactly appealing to most guys. It's the taboo of tasting yourself. It's silly and doesn't make any sense. Some guys don't like kissing after they orgasm. They make boring lovers.
The irony is, I'm gay; and I don't swallow. I'd gag. I've found a little trick that makes my partner none-the-wiser.
I keep a clean wet cloth close-by. Kisses afterward for me, are fine. Either way. That's probably a gay guy-thing.
Don't let it upset you. It wasn't about you, and I think he acted a bit of an ass. How would you know? He could have handled it more delicately.
Tell him if he wants the favor, you'd like kissing as your reward. I doubt he has never tasted his own semen before.
It's not like there was some other guy's penis down there.
Keep something sweet or a refreshing drink on the nightstand. Delay the kiss just for a few; after a refreshment. He'll be more receptive. You were both caught a bit off-guard. Awkward moments are bound to happen.
Don't forget to ask that he return the favor, and go downtown. One good turn deserves another. Just be prepared to for the kisses afterward!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 February 2014):
 He's not the first guy who doesn't like kissing after oral sex and he won't be the last one. One of my partners said that the smell and taste of his own cum makes him nauseous. Not just the odor but also the scary fact that it's his little little children that he could be ingesting if he kissed you. Unless you brush your teeth and swish it with Listerine for minutes, there will be cum in your mouth. Please do not take it personally. Many people look at blowjobs as dirty and a kiss from a committed partner negates the slutty feeling one might have. When he didn't kiss you, you felt kind of used and unappreciated. If you feel your relationship is strong you do not need reassurance that he looks at you as a high value girlfriend. Maybe have all the kissing done before the blowjob, instead of after it. After a blow job, it is as if his brain also stops functioning. He wants to rest while for you, the consummation is not finished until you get to kiss him. It would have been nicer if he warned you beforehand that he would not kiss after a blowjob. My partner mentioned above did that. For me though, it didn't matter as I am a person who looks for food after sex. Strange I know. Just lying down side by side is enough.
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