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age
36-40,
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writes: Me and this guy have been in touch for nearly 2 months, from the first day we met. After spending loads of time talking to eachother online, we finally had our very first date the other night. He was very shy, considering him being 34 and me 25, I was quite surprised how shy he really was. We had a coffee first, spoke for a good few hours about lots of things, he seemed really interested, kept eye contact with me all the time, always tried to make conversation, but he seemed a bit tense, like he was a nervous. After our coffee, I suggested food, and he accepted, so we went for a meal which was really nice, and treated me to food too, which I didn't expect, and we then headed off home.When he got home he messaged me saying "Thank you for the lovely evening! It was great to finally have a good old chat and hang out. Hope you had a good time too?" But no mentioning of meeting again. But hes been speaking to me none stop since the date, until only today we haven't spoken. He is generally a lovely guy and I hope he feels the same. I didn't feel anything negative during the date, but I'm worried about a follow up. I really want to see him again, but I shouldn't have to encourage him to ask me out again. (Before our first date he said, next time your free we can go for a coffee) so I had to encourage our first date to happen saying "so when you taking me for that cuppa you promised :)". And he then followed it up. But even after the first date, he still hasn't asked me for my number. He just uses facebook as the only source to talk to me.What should I do? Do I have to be a bit more patient with him, as hes too shy? Make more first moves? Or is he not really into me?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 February 2014):
 Right now you don't know anything about him. What I would do is set your own pace and take charge. He may be a gentleman who does not want to rush things or look creepy or too forward. If he is prompt with the meetings then it's a sign he is interested in you. Give him your number and request to talk on the phone. You may feel that because he's 10 years older than you and he's the man then he should take the initiative but right here it seems like it's "ladies first." You can find out faster if he's not interested by being direct yourself. It's okay if he's slow to warm up but if you feel he's not only slow but not moving at all then you are justified in your concerns.
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