A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I havent been on here in a while, but I figured it was a good time to ask a question that has been bugging me for a while.First, a little history: In August, I moved into my apartment (duplex, 4 people per side). I met my neighbor, who ended up becoming my girlfriend in November. We hit it off pretty well, and it was kinda cool that we lived in the same house. However, in all honesty, we began dating for all the wrong reasons: rebounds, making ex's jealous, etc. Right before christmas, I found out she was texting her ex some pretty graphic messages. I ended up breaking up with her, because it was messed up. However, a month later, my ex hit me up and we began having the same conversations. So if it wasnt for her making the mistake, I probably would have in the future anyway. I know that now.Moving forward, after the awkward month breakup phase, we were friends again. Hung out often, but nothing sexual. She showed interest, but I strictly disregarded it. I missed her, but I was dealing with my Ex, and she was dealing with hers. Around the same time, we ended up saying "goodbye" to our ex's on our own accords, and started kinda talking again.During this time, a friend of the house (lets call him Jeff) began showing interest in her. She showed interest back. When we went out to clubs, they would dance, hang out, she would go out of her way to talk to him, etc. Even though we were getting closer again, I saw him as a potential issue, as she was interested in him too. My roommate even noticed, and said something to me. Anyways, nothing ever ended up happening between them (to my knowledge), and a couple months later we started dating again.We are doing really good right now. It has been about three months, and we are really into each other. Probably the best relationship I have had so far; we realized our faults before, talked about them, and started dating again for all the RIGHT reasons. I can honestly say this in confidence; the timing before was not right, but we realized what we lost.The only issue I have is her MAYBE still showing signs of interest in this guy. For example, we went camping one day, and I could have sworn i saw her checking him out when he had his shirt off. She sometimes seems to "perk up" when his name is mentioned, and will go out of her way to talk to him. I honestly don't know is this is her just liking him as a friend, or if there is some fire there that I still have to worry about.We just lost a roommate, and he may be moving in next month to fill the gap. This worries me, because I am going on some long business trips within the next few months, and she will be all alone with him and the roommates on my side. I have trust issues in general, but because of why we broke up before I am still kinda worried. She has PROMISED me that she will never fuck up again... and I think she is being honest, because you can feel it when someone looks you in the eye and isn't lying. However, this thing is still bothering me, and I'm kind of worried that something could happen when I am away, especially since he is going to be so close and "accessible" now...Question is, do you guys think I should be worried? I feel like our relationship is strong, and I know she wasn't lying to me when she promised nothing would ever happen again. But do you think there is a chance anything could happen while I'm away? Even if he doesnt end up moving in, should I still be worried? I plan on talking to her tonight, so I'll be sure to update later, but any thoughts would be great...
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broke up, christmas, confidence, crush, her ex, jealous, moved in, my ex, roommate, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 July 2014):
 I would worry too. I would try my best to rent it out to another person. Other than that there's nothing else you could do. Even if he doesn't move in I would worry too. You and her have history. You've known each other for a long time but not enough trust there to really consider long term. If I've dated someone for months and I know I had to be going away, I would seal the deal by talking about the future with them. It's easier to remain faithful if both of you know that you are serious. Of course when a person wants to cheat she will find a way, commitment or no commitment, especially when there is drinking to lower inhibition. If your career involves you travelling a lot, it would be wiser idea to just date a homebody type of girl who doesn't drink or party.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 July 2014):
And if she cheats? You'll find out she's not the right person for you and move on. If the relationship is to last for a long time then something like this won't prevent it.
It's probable that she still finds him attractive... If a nice looking girl was wearing a bikini would you look?
Have a talk with her about boundaries. When you get back from your trip you'll know if anything happened.
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