A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so ashamed and I thought I was ready to move on from my bf/baby's dad. I cheated on him by having sex and kissing another guy! I was going to lunch and stuff with this new guy for maybe 2 months now. . I went behind his back because he's been acting different and has been verbally abusive. It doesn't seem like my bf cares about me but only sometimes.. I feel like all he ever wants from me is sex and nothing more when he is around me. . Please help someone! We don't live together and I want more than that. Now that I had sex with this new guy I'm missing my bf and realizing I made a mistake regardless of our bad past.. maybe we can grow from our rough patch?! I'm so lost and mad at myself. I let this happen. I'm terrible. This guy has a small 'one'.. While my bf is good size. I know that's shallow but sex does play a big part in a relationship yes? And I didn't really enjoy it with the new guy. . Karma probably! Need advice, any please. How do I let the new guy go or what do I do? ?I don't really know the new guy a lot. I'm finally seeing more of what my bf is like. But I know that a person can't have it all! So I need to choose what I'm looking for and willing to live with. I don't know if the new guy is just trying to reel me in with charm. Maybe I need a sit down talk with my boyfriend? Then with the new guy?This is my first time cheating. I'm 22.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): Please update us with your progress because we wish the best for you and your baby.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJanniepeg,
Thank you. I've realized a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2014): Using the term "baby daddy" says a lot about you.Also, penis size has almost nothing to do with sex, actually. That's not the point, however.You cheated. Your boyfriend is abusive. You're not meant to be together and you'll need to raise your baby with lots of support from people who DO care about you.Not "WILLING" to live with. It should be who you LOVE and WANT to live with! DONT live with either of them. You need to think ONLY of your son/daughter now. It is not good for him/her to live with her father who treats her mum badly or her mum's lover who shouldn't ever have been in the picture to start with.Learn to be independent because you are a very young mother and shouldn't rely on anyone else - except maybe family, if you are close to them.What you and your baby need is stability - something only YOU can provide.Cut all contact with the lover and tell your boyfriend you will not accept his treatment of you and you will have someone contact him with his legal rights to your child. Stand strong on your own two feet because you can't just focus on the relationships any more; your child's needs come WAY before that. Which I'm sure you know when you're thinking rationally and not flustered.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 July 2014):
 For the new guy you just stop replying to his calls. You don't owe him anything and no need to damage his ego by talking about his size. Regarding your baby's daddy you are not committed to each other. When people have children together whether intended or not but don't want to live together as a family, then there is not much love to speak of. A talk with your boyfriend. How about "can you care for me more than just sex? Can we live together? Forget it. I would just tell him, "Since you don't treat me as a girlfriend or wife maybe we should just part ways. I only want to have sex with a man I love, and who loves me." How do you know he's not having sex with others too? Regardless of your past, you may not know how to love but at least you can see what you are lacking now. Does he care though? Does he want to love you?
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