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LDR told me to get lost, then told my Mum she was pregnant

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 October 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *onystarkben writes:

I met a girl about a month ago when I was on vacation in Florida. We spent the last week together and I stayed at her place on the beach and we slept together a few times. She said I was the best guy she had ever met and she could see herself having a family with me. I thought it was odd but sweet and she was being silly. She's 25 and I am 29.

I am back in London now and planning to go back and stay for a week next month ( flights are booked ) she is a lovely girl ( very pretty ) but she went a bit mad at me last week as she didn't like one of my fb photos ( was a girl kissing my cheek and a year old ) so I took it down. I know it sounds silly but I knew she was on her woman time of the month so I figured it was hormones so I let it go.

All was okay but I got all these missed calls last night. I have a few female friends ( just friends ) and they come over and watch Netflix and one of them posted this on her fb right - the girl I'm seeing messaged and called her at 2am asking if she was my girlfriend / I had been cheating on her etc

My friend told her that we were just friends; nothing more but Peyton said she never wants to speak to me again, have a nice life with my gf and to never call her again. She then messaged my mum and told her that she's pregnant and how could I do this to her. ( this last part is news to me! )

I've tried calling today but nothing and she had blocked me on fb and instagram . My friends say she seems crazy and just to forget her . I feel bad but I don't know what to do from here. Thanks for reading.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIt's called Karma, son.

The girl who thought you were the BEST BF EVER!! figured out that you weren't such a hot potato after all, and now she wants you to suffer like she is suffering. Payton was young and naive and fell for your "cute British accent" dropped her knickers and THEN found out you had a girl back home too. Now hell has no fury .... It went from her wanting you to visit her family and meet everyone for Thanksgiving - to her having a go at your MOTHER to get back at you.

Like Tisha said, LEARN from this.

We can't tell you if she is pregnant or not. Only you know how CARELESS you were with protection. ONLY she knows if she actually IS pregnant or not.

BUT this is the kind of CRAP that happens when you cheat on a girl with another girl, who HAS no clue about girl #1.

This is the kind of CRAP that can happen when you JUMP into bed with someone you do not know.

Leave her be, let her stew a little. Either she IS pregnant and in 8 1/2 months you will be a daddy (make sure to do a DNA test) and have to pay Child Maintenance for the next 18 years. OR she isn't pregnant, just a very angry hurt dramatic young girl.

My guess is, she isn't pregnant. I think since her parents have heard about you, they would make contact IF she was indeed pregnant. But it's still early days - they might not know yet.

Maybe in the future you will think TWICE before dipping the wick. Maybe you will actually have a little respect for the girls you sleep with/date.

Time to grow up, grow a set, grow a conscience, a set of moral, son.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (15 October 2014):

janniepeg agony aunt I am not sure if she's pregnant. It was only three weeks ago since you met and you said she was on her period when you last talked. She could be saying she's pregnant to spite you for spewing her lies. Mess with your sleep at night.

If she is indeed pregnant I think you should try your best to stop her from having an abortion. At the end she has the right to choose what to do with her body but it's your last chance to fight for the relationship and to be a father. She's angry and can't think straight but for the sake of the baby you should work it out with her. I understand she might not want to do anything with you but if you are a man you at least make the offer to take care of her. I have no idea where the three of you should live.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (15 October 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntThe Florida girl from this question? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-cant-be-with-both-girls-i-have.html

In that question, you wrote:

"I met a girl about 4 months ago - she lives quite near me and is from a very good family. She is 20, I am 26 and I chased her for a while - it was hard work but we went on dates and grew closer. I really liked her and then she wanted me to be her bf and she is also very pretty so I was happy. Then I went away for 2 weeks to Florida and came back last week.

"We spoke each day on FaceTime and I was so excited to see her.

"Then 4 days before I was due to fly back to London, I met a girl in the good good store. We stated talking and to cut a long story short we went out that night - my male friend was busy so I figured it would be something to do. Now me and this girl just hit it off so much and I ended up spending the last 3 days of my holiday living with her at her house on the beach, day and night, taking her dog for walks and just spending time together."

So you DID have a girlfriend and you have been lying to the Florida girl. I expect she knows that and has decided to cut you out and humiliate you to your mother.

Did you happen to wear a condom when you cheated on your girlfriend with her?

In that other question, you also wrote: "my friends think I am nuts as I have a lovely girl here why would I bother with Florida" and "I know this sounds silly though but the time I spent with her and when we speak just fills me with excitement." So your friends were trying to get you see reason and you got swept up in fantastical thinking and lost touch with reality.

I think you set yourself up for a disaster and it happened. Try to learn some lessons from this.

*Always wear condoms unless you are in a committed monogamous relationship and have both been tested for STDs and birth control is being used.

*Don't cheat on your girlfriend.

*Don't lie to girls about not having a girlfriend so you can hook up.

*Listen to your friends.

*Some excitement is over-rated.

What do you do from here? Stop trying to contact the Florida girl. If she is pregnant and has the baby then you will have to step up financially as you are the father, so start saving up. And don't do what you did to her and your girlfriend to any other women you may meet. Show some character and integrity.

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