A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am usually i'm good at telling if the other half likes me or not. I have been seeing this girl since August. We have been out 10 times or so, so far, mainly just dinner or cinema. She has been to mine once and we just watched a movie, we tend to text every day, and i have told her i like her, which i do. I like her a lot!Ive told her this and she says the same, sometimes ill send her nice messages randomly and she will reply telling me it makes her smile etc etc.However, here's what's slowly beginning to bother me.......Of the 10 or so times we have been out, i have paid. I dont mind paying. The first date, the guys get it, the second yeah maybe that one to. Third one? Fourth one? Fifth one etc? I've paid them all, again it doesnt bother me, what bothers me is that she doesnt even bother to offer, or pretend like she wants to pay. She tends to stand there with her arms crossed and its clear im paying, usually my card is out first because thats just me, but what i like in a girl, alot, is when they offer.Onto my next "issue" when we've been at the cinema, or she was at mine, I've put my hand on her leg, just to show some form of affection, not that i was looking for anything, just so we kind of got a bit closer. When we were at mine, i just brought up the courage, and lay my head on her leg while we were watching the film, she didnt flinch, which i suppose is good thing right? But her arms remained crossed, body language speaks a thousand words doesnt it?? However take the cinema for example, when i placed my hand on her leg, most previous relationships i've been in the other girl would then put their hand on my hand or something, to return the emotion almost, she doesnt and i kind of get left hanging in a way..... So i'm not really sure whats going on here. We have kissed and thats it, im not one for pushing things.I should mention, on our last cinema trip, i arrived there first, and she came to meet me, with her sister and her sisters boyfriend, that was a shock to me lol, but nice i guess that she brought them. So surely if she didnt like me that much she wouldnt have brought them? After the cinema, she kind of just walked away from me waving saying bye, text when you're home safe, no cuddle or kiss, thats normally what we have done after our dates..l.....am i overthinking this? Was she embarassed in front of her younger sister? No idea what to think to be fair! Any insights or thoughts? Sorry for the long story.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (10 October 2014):
 You need to sit down with her to talk about how you're feeling and ask her how she's feeling about the relationship. It sounds like she doesn't have any romantic feelings towards you and just wants to be friends.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 October 2014):
 I think Janniepeg is partly right.
She is bring her sister and sister's BF to the movies to keep you from initiating touch. She didn't respond positively to your last attempt ( the whole crossed arms may indicate anxiety which is either driven by a lack of trust in the other person or how firmly closed the person is) - I find it really rude for her to ask her sister and the sister's BF to join you without having asked you first or suggested to when you two planned it. BUT if it makes her feel safer to have them around it's not a entirely a bad thing - except - its YOU she isn't feeling safe with, and only YOU can change that.
My advice, Take her on dates that doesn't take part in the dark. YOU (as many people do associate the dark movie theater with "time to cuddle" or "cop a feel" and she... doesn't - the body language actually seems like she is almost dreading it. Also, stop touching her the MINUTE she seems unresponsive. SHE already knows you WANT to touch her you have shown her on several occasions. Now back off. LET her set the pace. You may feel a hand on her leg is not a big deal, but it IS pushing her for something she obviously isn't ready for or willing to reciprocate.
FIND things to do where you two can TALK and interact, a movie theater is NOT the idea place for that.
Is she using you? I don't think so. This girl is very new to dating and doesn't follow the same rules as you do. My guess is she doesn't even consider that she should offer/pay because she somehow is doing YOU a favor. Which says a lot about compatibility. This is a girl who takes a LOT of effort to get to know.
Do you two otherwise talk? over the phone, text, FB? or do you call her up chat a little then ask her out?
Are you interested in her as a person? Is she fun? Smart, do you two share interests?
If not, maybe she really isn't wanting to date you, but haven't found a way to let you down easily.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 October 2014):
 I think she is bringing her sister and her boyfriend to stop you from touching her. She is behaving this way because she doesn't want to feel used by you sexually. She's probably testing you if in 3 months you are sticking by her then you are safe to be with. You don't have to like this kind of girl who does this. Some girls go on dates with the attitude of screening off creeps and predators. Or thinking that a man must be a user if he tries for sex or wants sex before the 3rd month. But just keep in mind there are girls out there who feels safe after 3 months of nothing sexual, and they do feel justified of testing a guy's endurance. If you lose interest in 3 months, then it proves her point that this sex is what all men want. If you stick around after 3 months it means your intentions are long term. You don't have to like her style, or be compatible in moral values and not all women are going to make you wait like that. What she is doing is to protect herself from players. Other people may disagree and say she is like auctioning her virgin pussy to the highest bidder.
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