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Is there anything that can be done to increase the friction when my wife and I have sex?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2014)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am a married male in my early 40s.

When my wife and I have sex she gets so wet and slippery that after a while there is almost no friction.

The other night I couldn't even feel anything to the extent that I lost my erection. I had to pull out and get myself ready again before we could finish. What can we do to make sex better for us both?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 October 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntcng the angle of penetration can do wonders for that 'problem" Experiment with different positions until you find one that you both like.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (19 October 2014):

YouWish agony auntOne other thing - what you're describing also happens because of masturbation desensitivity. This means your penis gets too used to the sensation of a handgrip. Many guys, even teenagers, find that after too much porn and/or hand jobs, an aroused vagina no longer is enough to work.

I would highly suggest holding off on masturbation for awhile before intercourse, and you'll be surprised at how much more you'll feel during intercourse.

To give you a personal analogy, let's say you love seasoned foods, especially those high in sodium, like bacon, popcorn, etc. Then, due to high blood pressure or whatever, your doctor tells you to cut sodium, use a salt substitute, and stop seasoning with salt during cooking or table salt, no ketchup, mustard, mayo, BBQ sauce...nothing. Something interesting happens. For a couple of weeks after dropping all salt, everything tastes bland and faded. But then something amazing happens. The real food tastes come through, the vibrance and richness that the salt was masking. Then let's say after a year of that, you had some food prepared the old way with salt. You couldn't handle it because it assaulted your taste buds with sodium. I had to do that when I was on dialysis, and even to this day, I have cut most sodium out of my life because I got used to the real flavors of food.

It's the same with sexual feeling. If you back off of gripping your penis as your primary sexual release, you'll have a couple of weeks of frustration, followed by the AMAZING feeling of your wife's real textures because your penis, like your taste buds, aren't being overpowered and desensitized by hard gripping. Try it! Try not using your hand for masturbation for a bit, and you'll be amazed at how unbelievably rock hard you'll get, and how when before, you couldn't feel your wife's vagina, but now, you'll be hypersensitive of her heat and texture.

Kegels work too! But trust me on this - you're too used to your hand!

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States +, writes (18 October 2014):

dougbcoll agony auntin a tube it is called "like a virgin" it increase's friction! should be able to order it online or intimate shop. my wife got it at a "slumber party" wear the host sold intimate sex items.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 October 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntjanepeg has the best ideas

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYou could try some of the various condoms with male and female "sensations".

And look for positions that let her grip on better.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (18 October 2014):

janniepeg agony auntIt's very good she is so turned on by you. Who can complain about that? You can make love to her in unexpected times, like middle of the night, or early in the morning when your testosterone level is the highest. You can also perform cunnilingus and suck all the juices. Enjoy the wetness now because as a woman ages she will not be as wet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2014):

Kegel excersises

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