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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My ex dumped me about 1.5 years ago. He's in a relationship with someone else 3 months after our breakup. I was desperate and couldn't move on. I spent over one year to put myself together and decided to move abroad. The last day before I left home, I wrote him an e-mail telling him I'm glad I'm moving on slowly. I'm starting a new life and hoping to leave all our memories behind. I couldn't wish him happy, but I do wish him a bright future since he's always so ambitious. He didn't reply me. I was kind of sad at that time because I did wish he would say something. I then focused on my new life and didn't care much about it. Until last month, when I got an email from him. He said he just saw the email and wanted me to give him a few days to think about what he should say. He wanted me to know he still loves me more than I want to accept. I know he's just saying things I want to hear and it annoyed me. How could he say things like this when he has a girlfriend? I didn't write him back. Part of me think he doesn't have to say anything, but part of me want to hear what he wants to say. I waited for a month, but he said nothing.When I didn't pay any attention to his last e-mail, he wrote to me again yesterday asking if I got his e-mail. He told me he's trying to reach out to me but I don't contact him back. What can he do? I wrote him back telling him he gave me no reply when I needed it the most. I'm doing good now and don't think I need to hear anything from him. Then he didn't write anything back. I don't understand why he wrote to me again and I'm so angry with him and myself. I think I'm over him, but he still has the power to control my emotions. Do I just ignore him next time he contacts me?
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ambition, broke up, has a girlfriend, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2014): Yes girl. Show to him that you run you ship and that no selfish man should toy withbyour emotions. I think he emailed you cause he probably broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to get back together but do not let him do that. Dont reply the next email you get from him and the next ones after that. Show him you dont want anything to do with him anymore and that he missed his chance with you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2014): I think you handled it just fine.If he's got a gf show him where the line in the sand is. It sounds like this is the classic case that he jumped into another relationship before he was ready. *Depending on how long you guys were in a relationship I'm guessing it was more than a couple of months. Its good that you haven't been contacting him while you've not been together and that he contacted you first. He's probably had you in the back of his mind or is "thinking" he has. Maybe he does feel like he loves you but those are only the memories. Why now? Why start this game to get you rattled? Why not say something before the email? Why while dating someone else? He might not know and is just fishing. I urge you to tread carefully on what you do. Remember he dumped you. He made his bed. A quote that I like to use in situations like this when its happened to me is "Just because you're missing someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life.". He might be repeating the trend or getting bored with his current gf and wants to see if you will take him back. What pulled the relationship apart in the first place is still present. Just be careful and good luck. Like I said I think you did great with your response. If he keeps talking to you. I'd flat out tell him that your going to block him, this isn't fair to your current girlfriend and this isn't who you are.PS. Read receipts are a nifty little thing you can do too. It helps tell if a person really did see the email or not.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2014): Cut this guy out of your life. You're doing well. Moving on...and you're going to risk everything you have accomplished for what? He has given you no promises. No reassurances. Just "feeling the waters". Trust me. He is keeping his options open. That's it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 October 2014):
 Men saying I love you when they really don't, has caused a lot of broken hearts. The magic of those three words made women stay in abusive or non satisfying relationships. When some men break up with women they never see it as a permanent thing. Some of them use break ups as a way to see other women without it being cheating. He said he loves you to keep you as a safety net in case he goes through a sexual drought. You are not weak or dumb, it's just that love can be a rare thing to be cherished and it's also quenches our spiritual thirst. You just have to make sure it comes from the right man with sincere intentions. We as women also have a powerful urge to nurture anyone who reaches out for love. If a man can only love when his object of affection is slipping away, then it's not really love but the preservation of the ego and the desire of chasing.
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