A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:help me please :(i've been with this amazing girl for nearly 3 years now. well i had, we broke up last monday.our relationship started off so well. and we've had loads of good times. i split up with her last year because i was unhappy and i thought it was because of her, i then went on to realise that i loved her so much and i didn't want to lose her and she forgave me and we got back together.well last monday we decided we had sorta just became friends rather than two people in love. and decided to end it.however now i can't stand not being with her, i love her so much and i can't be without her.i've told her this and i've tried to win her back but she wont.. its like she's moved on already. i've tried not texting her but i can't for too long because i miss her so much. and i hate it when she doesn't reply.. we met the other day to say good bye and she cried loads and we hugged and kissed a couple of times then the next day she just told me to leave her alone.i hope i've given you enough info to help me. i really don't know what else to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Just leave this poor woman alone. You broke up with her twice so you must not be that deeply in love with her or else you wouldn't keep breaking up with her. Stop playing games with her emotions! You have no right to inflict that kind of pain on her.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 No, sorry there is not enough info. Like why did you break up? Your post made it sound like you really didn't know why you break up. If a woman does not get a sufficient reason, she's only going to think of the obvious: such as he's not that into me, he's a commitment phobe, he's interested in someone else. A relationship would only work if you can go through the good times as well as bad times. If being unhappy is your own issue, then find out how you can be happy. How can you be unhappy if you believe that you can only be happy when you get back with her?
Being happy is more than loving a person. You sound very confused about your emotions and what you want. What you wrote made me feel that you love her and is still in love with her. She's frustrated because you flipped out on her on impulse and regretted your decision. Think in her shoes. She didn't want that happening ever again because she is not willing to go through that up and down again.
You need to be more detailed when you describe your situation here. You can extend a little bit on each statement you are going to make.
For example, you said you thought you were unhappy. Is that correct? What made you feel that way? Is it because of her or you? Are you going through a stage, or depressed? Is this about stress? Are you blaming it on her or projecting your own shame on her? Do you feel you are good enough for her? Are you worried about money? Do you know what your girlfriend likes or dislikes about you? Does your unhappiness make you fall out of love? What specifically are you unhappy with? Her appearance? Her nagging? Is there a problem that can't be fixed? Are you unhappy with her as a person or with relationships in general? Do you feel trapped? Are you afraid of asking for private time? Do you feel comfortable asking her what she could do to make you feel better?
As a girl, I feel that when a guy breaks up without thinking thoroughly and discussing things with me, that is the greatest sin you can commit.
Either way, you are going to learn a lesson. If this relationship can't survive this, then you would learn that women would respect men who know what they want, and are decisive. If she comes back to you, you have to be able to convince her that this is not going to happen again, and that this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Also, there are many kinds of feelings with as many variations and permutations as they can be affected by the weather, by your childhood, by your past love experience, and you have to decide what to express and what's private. Only reveal things that would draw you closer together. Keep things such as why you hate certain women, to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Shygirl101  +, writes (2 September 2010):
Honestly breaking up and giving it some time is probably the best thing right now because it seems like from what ur saying you dont really know what you want and what would make you happy .i can understand why she is not texting you back because she doesnt wanna get her heart broken agian the next time you feel it isant working...just give it a while and get yourself together so this time youll be absolutely sure what you want.let her go if its meant to be it will be
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (2 September 2010):
 You have to understand, breaking up with a girl is very hard on her. So far you've done this twice and each time you've begged her to take you back and told her you will never do it again, yet you have. In her mind she is thinking what is to stop you from doing it again if she takes you back?
I think for her sake it's better that you just let her go. Since you've broken up with her twice is there a chance you are more afraid of being alone in general than you are of losing her? People make mistakes, but you don't usually let a girl who is THAT special to you go.... twice.
Sorry, but I think it's time for both of you to spend some time apart.
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