A
male
age
30-35,
*cm0069
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly three and a half years and she decided she wanted a break from the relationship. It's been going downhill with arguments started by me being a complete jerk 99.9% of the time (not being self-blaming, just being truthful). I want to change so bad and she wants time to "look at the relationship without the pressures of being in one". it makes sense and I respect it. We agreed on two weeks for right now, we won't date other people, and we'll still hang out and stuff. I've told her I want and will change if she gives me another chance and she seems to absorb this in, but has no answers. I've been leaving the issue alone for the past couple of days and we've agreed to approach it again in a couple of days. The kicker is, she informs me a day after the break that she's going to be hanging out with a guy she hasn't seen since elementary school this whole weekend (we're both 20 and in college). I ask if it's a date (me freaking out) and she promises up and down its not, but is very defensive and annoyed that I'm freaked out. She's told me several times I've got nothing to worry about about her weekend or the break itself, but I'm so anxious and want a second chance so bad. She is my life and I want a chance to show her that again. She wants me to "be a friend" right now, but one of the things she didn't like about the relationship is how I started treating her just like all of my friends instead of someone special (I don't know why I did. I hated it, but I don't know why I did it). Advice? Preferrably from a girl. How should I act? What should I do? I love her with all of my heart and am willing to wait as long as it takes, but the waiting is killing me, and the weekend situation doesn't help. Thanks if you read all this. Please help.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 I think you should calm down. She still loves you but want to understand men a little bit more before she invests in you again. She wants to see that you are emotionally stable enough to handle the vigors of a love relationship.You don't feel equal in this relationship. You feel like you have to make many adjustments to satisfy her demands. You should be able to ask her what you need from her too such as appreciation, and just the fact that she needs you. She would respect you a lot more when she finds that you are able to access your emotions openly to her without having to get defensive or aggressive about it. Ask her what makes her feel special. There is no need to feel bad about not knowing what makes her feel loved. You can't read her mind and she shouldn't assume you could. For me, buying flowers, treating me to a nice dinner would do. Bring her home to your family if you haven't already.
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