A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 yeare. the last three have been on and off. We break up and then get back together. I have done nothing less then shower her with love and affection. I treat her very well, she will tell you that. However, she has anger issues, she has trust issues with men in general. she constantly digs at me, she starts fights often and often says things that hurt. I walk on eggshells often to try to avoid her anger. I try to understand her and be patient. But she often trys to push me to lose my temper. Its almost like she needs to do that to me, occasionally she gets to it and then I will say something disrespectful and thats when the breakups happen. She thinks that she should be allowed to do what she wants and I should never engage her. (easier said then done) when someones always pushing your buttons. It is always me persuing her at that point. I'm the only one apologizing. She never acknowledges her behavior and it is uncontrollabe often. Oddly enough what can I do to make it right if anything? What am I missing? We are currently broken up again
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male
reader, ulysses29 +, writes (20 September 2011):
Hello to you who are in a manipultive relationship. I too was in a relationship where my partner would goad me into an argument. She never would just talk. Sometimes she would just sit there and stare. Pushing my buttons is easy for someone who learns your weak spots and uses them when ever they choose. My ex-partner wrote me from a online dating site. From the first night we met she was all over me holding my hand, kissing me and talking about things I wanted to talk about, that was at first. Then she started telling me all about her ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends and there were many. I should have known then but it had been awhile since my last relationship because I wanted time to myself. But here we were as she talked about her ex's. This went on for over a month. I then said to her why don't you talk about us or me instead of your ex's. Well it did not stop for a couple of weeks, however she then started talking about all men she had talked to throughout the day. I finally started to keep track of that and it was about 8 to 10 men vs 1 or 2 women.This was everyday. And nothing ever about me. She lowered that a little but still nothing about me while I would comment on her looks, intelligence etc.Well she talked me into looking to buying a house with her and I wanted to move into an appartment but she wanted a house. So here we are looking. One thing she always kept in contact with a couple of ex-boyfriends which I did not like. We had just finished looking at houses when her ex called and while she is talking to him she asks him if he missed taking pictures of her ASS. I grabed the phone and said she would call him back. That was just one thing to make me jealous. She has done things of that type so many times before.Yes I got angry and yes I raised my voice but she has stated that her ex's were jealous too. Another time she heard from another ex and he told her he was moving to the Phillapines to marry a 21 year old. She was livid and told him not to do it. She also emailed him and wrote that she was just a Booty call for him. They wrote back a couple of times and when he was really going she cried histarrically. It was as though he was leaving her...I was angry again and yelled. My GOD she never has cried over us not nearly or even cried at all...There is so much more but I will get to the end. We found a house 800 miles from where we lived in Az to Nv. I left my job and lost that income but she wanted her name on the house . The Mortgage co did not want that. She finally agreed. 2 months after we moved in I got a tumor and she did not care not one bit.I was so angry and I let her know. She left and I have not heard from her since. It has been about 5 weeks now. ,I did however get an email from one of her friends asking me if I would sell her the house and give her a quit claim deed for the house. She did not have enough income to pay the mortgage that's why she never bought one. But here she was asking me to draw up papers for a monthly payment to me and give her the deed to the house. She is a person who finds men on the internet and moves in with them. I really did not know the whole story until now. So as I was a fool for those of you out there please watch it. This is for women to watch out for men like that as well as men to watch for manipulating women. Thank You,ulysses29
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Why would you want to make it right? Don't let her or anyone for that matter this way. As you are broken up with her make sure you stay that way.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Women like that aren't going to acknowledge their behavior and often drive people away from them. Like her I have a bit of trust issues and whenever a fight (sometimes I start them) erupts then I too push that other person's buttons. I have a bad temper, however it does take a lot to get me mad. Over time I've learned to practice self control and not to fly off the handle. Often the hotheadedness comes from someone in her family, or a troubled past, and the trust issues that happens with every woman. There's nothing you can do, one day she'll wake up and realize she can't keep on acting like this.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 It's good that you are aware she's doing that out of insecurity, rather than your fault here. But when she pushes your button, you get reactive and she won't acknowledge it when she tries to make you look like the other men in her life. You don't have to worry. She needs you more than you need her. By being the nice guy, you provide her the security that you would always be there for her. She doesn't look at you as an equal because she's still dwelling in her past. You can wait for her to acknowledge her own problem but you are doing yourself no favor if you stay too long. It's possible that by the time she loves you for who you are you might have gotten tired of her.
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (29 August 2010):
What you can do to make it right is to make her see that she needs to put effort into making the relationship work. It's not up to you to always pursue. It's not up to you to always apologize and try so hard. If you're always doing that, it lets her go on doing what she wants without being accountable to you or the relationship. Make it clear that if you and this relationship is important to her, she will admit that she has things to improve on, and then you guys might be able to work through it together.
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