A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend some time now and 99.9 of the time we are perfect. Were both young but very much in love. I'd do anything for him and he'd do the same for me but the crowd he hangs around with are not very reliable. A few of them have cheated on there partners and it makes me nervous he'd do the same as people can be influenced by there friends. I know hes not them and I should trust him but for some reason I get jealous. He has a few girl mates and when he goes party's with girls and boy I get really worried. I'm not sure what knocked my trust so much but even looking at photos in the past from way back before he was with me with his arm around a girl, makes me frightened. I love him and being without his is too dooming, I need him. He says he loves me too, and I really do believe him. He's started inviting me to the party's which makes me feel good but I'm worried he could or could have already cheated. He gets scared about me cheating to even though I barely go out because I'd rather speak to him. I'm not sure what's going on, please help.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I can never be friends with a cheater. I would think, if he did this to his girlfriend, would he do something to betray me too? Staying friends with a cheater is like being an advocate of cheating. Did his friends cheat because they were suffering an unhappy relationship or because they did it as a thrill to get away with something? Was alcohol blamed for the cheating? I am sure those guys who cheated told their girlfriends to trust them too. You may feel you need him now because the pain of leaving is greater than worrying about the familiar issue in a relationship. It's more dooming to be worrying about cheated on than to end a relationship. He of course is not going to tell you about the details of what they did in the party. If every guy has a honey around their arms, then what is your boyfriend there doing standing alone? You don't really enjoy going to parties but he's inviting you so that he won't be nagged. As long as he still goes to the parties you won't be happy, unless you tell him "if you go to the parties just don't tell me because I don't want to know and lose sleep over it." If he can do anything for you as you wrote then he could stop going to the parties. If loving you means not loving himself then there is no compromise and the relationship would be doomed anyway.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): you need to start trusting him otherise it will cause arguments in your realtionship! if you think he has already cheated it will drive you mad! just sit down and talk to him about it! a realtionship wont last inless you have trust!
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