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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 2 November 2009: Duce 00, I think you're becoming something like Duce 007 by now. Three Cheers For You.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel a sense of rejection with her?
Q. Hi here's my problem -- I feel sick and upset even thinking about the fact that other men have slept with my girlfriend. She is 18 and I am 20. I fell deeply in love with her the day that I met her two years ago, but it took her 5 months to feel t...
A. 1 November 2009: I don't know why you feel this way, but I do recommend you get over it. You will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday.... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 1 November 2009: You're asking several questions, some of which don't seem to have an easy answer.
I believe that, in general, Frank's opinion can be included into Human Male's: it's not always that a man doesn't want to commit to anyone at all, but perhaps ... (read in full...)
He asks me to split the check - is he really interested in me?
Q. I'm a little old fashioned and always had the idea that when a man is truly interested in you he pays for dinner. I've been on four dates with this guy and each time he ask to split the check. Is this guy really into me?...
A. 31 October 2009: We the old-fashioned would pay the check, and wouldn't even think of asking the woman of paying her share. However, some women want to pay their share. I've heard things like:
- you're not sufficiently self-assured to let the woman pay
- t... (read in full...)
I consistently dawged this woman out and I need to make amends!
Q. Hi, I have a huge issue that I created for myself. FOur years ago I meet the woman of my dreams but at the time I didnt realize it. I didnt realize it until recently. She did everything in her power to please me and because I was so bitter of...
A. 31 October 2009: The girls said it all, except this: if she won't take you, DON'T repeat these mistakes with the new woman. No harm done in being nice.... (read in full...)
Married! How do I get over this huge crush?
Q. I met my wife 15 years ago. It started as one night thing that just got extended... I have later realized that I never had a change to have big crush on her first. We just started being together because it was convenient and we liked each other. ...
A. 31 October 2009: I would first want to determine whether your finding that your marriage doesn't work is a true thing, or something that happens when you happen to see the girl in question. The Caveman feelings, as you referred to them, would be called "lust" by ... (read in full...)
To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?
Q. Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...
A. 30 October 2009: I like that phrase, Uncle: "pudding stirrer".
I think I will open a bakery :-).... (read in full...)
To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?
Q. Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...
A. 29 October 2009: Your post suggests that there is something genetic in the fact that many men cheat. In my opinion, you're wrong not only in believing that every man will cheat, but also in believing that no cheater is to blame for that. He, or she, as you think ... (read in full...)
Are breast implants attractive to men?
Q. I am in great shape and all natural. As women we are inundated with images of women with the perfect breast implants. Women are getting boob jobs all the time. Honestly, to the men out there are breast implants attractive. Do they look fake? ...
A. 29 October 2009: Being on the "appreciative side of the question", poster, I can tell you that not all fake breasts look "perfect". Just like not all natural breasts look perfect, either.
You have the right attitude.... (read in full...)
Is it true that men like women with a few more curves?
Q. My b/f and I have both gained about 25 pounds since becoming involved with each other 4 years ago. (What can I say, we both love to cook, eat and drink). But I've decided enough is enough and started watching my calories and making time to work out ...
A. 29 October 2009: My grandpa used to say that "they were called sins of the flesh". There's your answer.... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by staying with my husband?
Q. I'm very confused, and feel like my brain is not functioning properly, I make a decision know it's the right one, then change my mind. I really want your advice. Should I stay with my husband. I want to stay and be happy together, but do...
A. 29 October 2009: I'm sorry to be this blunt, but I feel you have to let go of this. It's not healthy for any of you. This relationship seems pretty much one-sided: you give a lot, and he stays for who knows what reason, but not because he loves you.
I think yo... (read in full...)
Does he still hate me this much?
Q. Been really good friends with a guy for many years. No romance. Finally he professed his love. I was stunned and shocked and kinda rejected him cause I was dating someone else at the time which I told him about. It's been 20 years and he just ...
A. 29 October 2009: Maybe it just hurts.... (read in full...)
Are breast implants attractive to men?
Q. I am in great shape and all natural. As women we are inundated with images of women with the perfect breast implants. Women are getting boob jobs all the time. Honestly, to the men out there are breast implants attractive. Do they look fake? ...
A. 29 October 2009: The only good answer I can give you is "It depends".
Why are you considering breast implants? That's part of "It depends".... (read in full...)
I already know he's a womanizer. Should I go for it?
Q. I am in a relationship with a divorced man who is well educated. I love him and had sex with him. Recently he has been saying about his past relationships and it appears that he had sex with two other women when he was married just because he had a ...
A. 26 October 2009: I don't think I can give you any more advice than Double M's: "Proceed at your own peril".... (read in full...)
How can I get over losing this man?
Q. How can I get over losing this man? He has a partner already so I knew it would never work out long-term but I didn't expect it to end the way that it did. Basically we were both out one night (with seperate groups of friends) and I grew increasin...
A. 25 October 2009: You get over lost relationships when you look at them realistically and accept that they cannot be. That's all there is to it.... (read in full...)
I already know he's a womanizer. Should I go for it?
Q. I am in a relationship with a divorced man who is well educated. I love him and had sex with him. Recently he has been saying about his past relationships and it appears that he had sex with two other women when he was married just because he had a ...
A. 25 October 2009: I agree with Double M: proceed at your own peril. Because the peril has been already spelled out before you.
He's telling you that he will have sex with other women, and that you won't be able to complain unless he tells you that he has committe... (read in full...)
His parents call me a predator!
Q. Hi all ty for reading this and please your comments will be so welcome.. I met this guy will be 2 years soon .. We were instant friends and started off talking every day it was crazy how natural it was and innocent. He loves with his parents who I ...
A. 24 October 2009: I think that your love can be as real as any other. Your ages do not matter, nor do your situations.
I also see his parent's point. Women are almost invariably more skillful in relationships than men their same age, and in this case your adv... (read in full...)
This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!
Q. Hello all, I have a complicated situation. I consider myself to be clear of mind and a high thinker. But this problem I simply cannot solve. My former flame and I were together for a short time. A year and a half. He was my first and only everyt...
A. 24 October 2009: Dearest poster, I will try to do my best to answer your questions.
I have a bias: I love the way you love this man. I may not be able to detach myself from the situation as I should.
My dear, I can't tell you what is in his mind. He does n... (read in full...)
Is it shallow for me to pursue women with small breasts?
Q. I have a strong physical attraction to women with small breasts. Is it a shallow thing to actively pursue women with this physical feature or given that it is both not a common thing for a guy to be attracted to and that it is a source of self ...
A. 24 October 2009: If you like these girls, go for them. What is the problem?... (read in full...)
I won't let anyone get close to me any more.
Q. for some reason i find my self incapable of letting anybody become to close to me now. after me and my ex broke up i just dont trust people getting that close to me. it seems girl after girl that i become involved with i mess it up intentionally or ...
A. 24 October 2009: Don't make a fool of yourself. There are wonderful women out there, and it makes no sense to lose the ones who love you over the one who didn't.
You can always get over a bad relationship.... (read in full...)
I always have revenge sex with friends and relatives of my exes!
Q. Okay this may be a long one here... I am going to describe the only THREE guys that have ever actually meant something to me in my life out of everybody, now I have been in relationships with a few guys but these three I cared about more than oth...
A. 24 October 2009: Well, I won't speculate why you do it, but it seems the reason is trying to hurt them where it hurts most. I understand the feeling, but I don't share it.
If you want to stop it, well, just do. It is clear that you understand how this is bad, ... (read in full...)
When can you remain friends after a relationship?
Q. I'd like to know other people's opinions on when not to stay friends. My partner (male) broke up with me, and told me he wanted to remain friends. After a month break, I agreed to this but I think I regret it now. I was really hurt when we spl...
A. 24 October 2009: I've met a few people who have managed to stay friends, true and good friends, with their exes. They are people who were always mature enough to handle their differences creatively, or at least couples where one of the partners was very much able ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex tell me she is not happy with her new guy?
Q. my ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend but i think she is not happy in the new relationship. because when i was talking to her on msn she said her boyfriend called me a rude name. so i knew her boyfriend doesnt like me for some reason and my ex said ...
A. 24 October 2009: Be careful. It is easy for us men to misunderstand what women say, all the more so if we're in love.
She is indeed saying that she's upset with her boyfriend. That does not mean she is manifesting any desire to go back to you at all. Keep you... (read in full...)
Did I ever mean anything to her?
Q. About 2 years ago I dated a woman who was just out of a 4 year relationship with a guy she was obsessed with, she was on the rebound, we dated for 5 months, she went back to him and I was heartbroken I was in love with her. To make matters worse , ...
A. 23 October 2009: All I can offer here is speculations about why she acted like that. I think I should not do that, because it wouldn't really help the poster. I do believe I can help in another way. Maybe there is an explanation to why she acted like that, but t... (read in full...)
Why do I feel ashamed after I cum?
Q. How is it that when I cum I feel ashamed after?...
A. 23 October 2009: Honestly, I don't know. This is the first time I hear about this problem. On an intellectual basis, however, there is no reason to feel that way. Unless you're raping someone.... (read in full...)
I lost my erection, now she thinks I'm not attracted her!
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem. Last night while in bed with my girlfriend, she started trying to arouse me. It worked, I got an erection and everything, but then we had some trouble with penetration. She was on top, and after a minute of her ...
A. 23 October 2009: I believe this is called "performance anxiety". You so much wanted to have sex, but felt pressurized into it, that Peter went his merry way. That's it.... (read in full...)
She's given up money and material things for love, to be with me.
Q. Just looking for some input from women or men, anyone who has been with a lot of money and passed it by for true love. My fiance has dated several very wealthy OLDER men, and I mean very wealthy and I mean very older, like 30 years older. But...
A. 22 October 2009: I agree with Satin.... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but he is shorter then me!
Q. Hi, I'm currently finishing my last few weeks of high school and just very recently I've been falling for this guy. He's so adorable, cute and kind, but, he's shorter than me! He's heaps shorter than me actually, yet, he's still older. I don't k...
A. 22 October 2009: I believe that, like all else, this is a matter of personal preference. But, let's say I wouldn't exactly reject a woman just because she were taller than I am. And I would hope that were not the criterion she used to refuse to have a relationship ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hid the fact she had a son. Could this indicate a potential pattern of lying?
Q. Girlfriend of three months tells me via text message that she has a son. We just started getting slightly serious, and I still feel a little lied to. I am 25, she 23, I have no idea how old her son is. I had no idea that she had a son, not e...
A. 22 October 2009: Well, that settles the matter. Leave her, but tell her why.... (read in full...)
He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?
Q. Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...
A. 22 October 2009: And, you can break the ice with a ouija board :-), which, by the way, was invented with the name "Ouija" as a trade mark.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hid the fact she had a son. Could this indicate a potential pattern of lying?
Q. Girlfriend of three months tells me via text message that she has a son. We just started getting slightly serious, and I still feel a little lied to. I am 25, she 23, I have no idea how old her son is. I had no idea that she had a son, not e...
A. 22 October 2009: If you don't feel happy with her, leave her now. But I don't see a reason why you should do that. At least not with the information you gave.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hid the fact she had a son. Could this indicate a potential pattern of lying?
Q. Girlfriend of three months tells me via text message that she has a son. We just started getting slightly serious, and I still feel a little lied to. I am 25, she 23, I have no idea how old her son is. I had no idea that she had a son, not e...
A. 22 October 2009: Perplexed 25 and Unsure, it might be a very innocent thing, and indeed I think it is. This girl knows that her "market value" is lower now that she has a child. Many a man will want to be with her just to taste "the forbidden fruit" (as if th... (read in full...)
Help...I'm gonna be single forever!
Q. I feel really lonely. I've had a couple of broken relationships, about 3 years ago, but the last time i actually felt intimate with someone was about 6 years ago. I feel like the rest of my life is going to be the same, and sometimes it get...
A. 22 October 2009: You're young and single. Enjoy! Have a cool attitude, go out, be nice, and someone will fall for you. Since you have a degree in IT, be careful: some people will feign interest just to get you to fix their computers. Or help them with that p... (read in full...)
He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?
Q. Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...
A. 22 October 2009: Wow, my hat is off to Oldersister. "Spiritual" does not mean "spiritistic". In my humble personal opinion, being "spiritual" is something you can disagree with, but is OK; now, being spiritistic is closer to mere superstition. We hear a lot a... (read in full...)
Religion in relationships
Q. Why do very religious people having problems in their relationships due to their own beliefs turn to Agony Aunts for help? ...
A. 22 October 2009: Well said, anonymous female. Also, because only too often we want people to tell us what we want to hear.... (read in full...)
Does he sound like he wants a relationship?
Q. I've been seeing someone for about 2 months. We talk daily and usually see each other 2 or 3 times a week. When we do get together it's for hours on end. I haven't slept with him and have told him that I'm not ready and he's said he's ok with ...
A. 20 October 2009: It is obvious that he wants you.... (read in full...)
What is the theory on being friends with exes?
Q. I'm looking for some advice on being friends with ex's. I've gotten some great answers here to other relationship questions. The girl I'm seeing wants me to commit to her in a relationship, but she told me that she still keeps things from every ex ...
A. 19 October 2009: On a purely intellectual level, remaining in touch with your ex is a good thing. The love may be over, but that does not mean you cannot appreciate the good in the other person. I have known of a few people who can do just this, and it works well ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but he is shorter then me!
Q. Hi, I'm currently finishing my last few weeks of high school and just very recently I've been falling for this guy. He's so adorable, cute and kind, but, he's shorter than me! He's heaps shorter than me actually, yet, he's still older. I don't k...
A. 19 October 2009: Oldersister, what about a short man with a bunch of henchmen behind him, and a nice machine-gun to boot? Does that count as protection?... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but he is shorter then me!
Q. Hi, I'm currently finishing my last few weeks of high school and just very recently I've been falling for this guy. He's so adorable, cute and kind, but, he's shorter than me! He's heaps shorter than me actually, yet, he's still older. I don't k...
A. 19 October 2009: I see no problem in your liking a shorter guy. If he's any smart, he won't care about your being taller. Actually, that is NICE. Tall women are great. There's more of them to love.... (read in full...)
Does sex play a huge role in dating?
Q. How long do you wait for sex with a guy so he doesnt think you are a hoe or slut?...
A. 13 October 2009: I'm not sure I would think a girl would be a slut for sleeping with me on the first date :-). But, it depends on the guy. I believe, however, that Oldersister gave you a good answer: don't change your values from guy to guy.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a woman to ask a man out?
Q. I have another question, is it wrong for woman to ask man out on a date? Does it start a cycle of a woman taking the male role in the relationship?...
A. 9 October 2009: It is not bad to ask a man out. It is a great thing to do. I can see why a woman wouldn't want to do it (check what Ask Oldersister wrote), but personally I don't find it bad, in itself.... (read in full...)
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