A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all ty for reading this and please your comments will be so welcome.. I met this guy will be 2 years soon .. We were instant friends and started off talking every day it was crazy how natural it was and innocent. He loves with his parents who I always thought were amazing seeing as how awesome there son was. He doesn't drink nor smoke (he did do these things when he was younger) and neither do I BUT I m getting ahead of myself. So over time it was just natural that we decided we wanted to be together and we started dating for almost a year now. In the last year we spent all our free time together he is in his second year of college and I own my own buisness. We never fight believe it or not except when he gets jealous lol and even then its like a talk over an hour then over. We hare everything with each other and I have never felt so close to someone in all my life. We have not had sex BUT we have talked about it ALOT lol and done other things but not actual intercourse. So we have been happy everyday UNTIL 2 weeks ago .. His parents who he lives with out of the blue told me frankly they did not agree and that I was to have no contact and end this now... I tried talking to them explaining I wouldnt do that and they should be talking to him not me that I would not hurt him and I cared for him but I also wanted to respect them. So they did and he went along with what they said as far as they know. We are now sneaking around behind there backs. I don't know what to do I hate that we r somewhat living a lie to them. We have talked it out and as long as he is living under there roof he does not want to go against them so pretending is easier. Also I live a very far away from him right now and we have talked about him moving once his school there is finished. O lol I forgot the reason why his parents hate this I just turned 30 and am a single mother and he will be 20 in a couple months.....They said this is wrong and I am far to old for him and he is a child. .....SO now what ... Both him and I agree we love each other and that there is nothing wrong with our ages . He is a very old soul and I have never felt this close to anyone ever. I do not support him financially for anyone wondering nor do I mother him . What should we do...... Finally his mom cried for over an hour to him cause she said she was so hurt that i prayed on him like he was a victim and his father called me a predator... This after me having told them from the first time I spoke to them how old I was and that I had a child..... He says if they find out and want us to be over then he will be leaving them and fighting back saying how much they hurt him cause they always told him no matter what... If you were me what would you do .. I dont like that he is lieing to his parents Not so much that I care for them to be honest anymore BUT more so his conscious but he tells me don't worry its okay all the time cause I talk about it all a lot now. ... Let me know what you think Thank you
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male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Forget the age gap. That isnt a problem. But he's tied and financially dependant on his overprotective parents. They can see you as someone who's quite capable of taking their little boy away. So just you either support him or just wait. What you have to worry about if anything is if he can cut himself free from his mothers apron strings when he finishes in college. My guess is they will try to make it worthwhile for him to stay with them. Find out when he feels he can leave them to be with you. And if you cant get a clear answer thats a big red flag. If you do set a date you stick to it. Dump him or get stuck with a mums boy who will keep on giving reasons why he cant.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (24 October 2009):
You two need to find a workable solution until he can finish his schooling and move out. He's a ADULT and more than of the age where he should be in FULL CONTROL of his life. He needs to stand up for you and not let his parents control his life. Sneak around if you need to, then he needs to move out and tell them to BUTT out of his personal affairs. Nothing wrong with a 20 year old dating a 30 year old- kid or not.
Hang in there, do the best you can and hopefully you'll have many holidays together! If his parents can behave themselves maybe you can grace them with your presence, if not, create your own traditionas and send them a card now and then... they sound like controling a-holes...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): WOW, HE IS JUST A KID - With a whole life ahead of him. He needs to finish school, live on his own, find a cute young girl then have his own kids. His parents are right. What are you doing, let him go he just has a crush Mrs. Robinson. You are so wrong end it now..... Let the kid have a life and sex with a girl his own age. Find a man not a boy your own age. You know the right thing to do. It will never ever work out, he would leave you sooner or later. End it. His poor mom.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 I think that your love can be as real as any other. Your ages do not matter, nor do your situations.
I also see his parent's point. Women are almost invariably more skillful in relationships than men their same age, and in this case your advantage over him is so great, because you're not only ten years older, but also a mother. They are afraid that their son will end up in the hands of an evil woman. They may want their son to wait until he commits to someone, because he is very young, indeed.
But, I am sure that he can also be old enough to know what he's doing. And there should be no reason why he should hide his relationship. He's not a baby anymore, no matter what his parents think.
If I were you, I would tell him that the relationship is a good one and that he's free to stay or leave. Which is always the case, in any relationship.
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