A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel really lonely.I've had a couple of broken relationships, about 3 years ago, but the last time i actually felt intimate with someone was about 6 years ago. I feel like the rest of my life is going to be the same, and sometimes it gets me that down i just think 'why the hell am i even here if i can't find anyone interested'.I have only had 2 real relationships and both girls cheated on me which i feel was my fault.Will i ever find someone, or am i doomed to failure?I know a man who is in his 50's and is in a similar way.. he hasn't been with anyone since he was 23 and he said it makes him feel lonely.. will i be the same?The other thing is, i feel too nervous to talk to other girls, they find me disgusting or something, i swear it.I have a degree in I.T but i'm not geeky/i don't like star trek or metallica, i'm just an everyday kinda guy.Please.. someone.. help me..Cheers!
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 Oh for goodness sake. Just get over your insecurities, and start looking for GOOD girls that are interested in carrying out SERIOUS relationships. You've probably just been looking for them in all the wrong places, literally. Unless you look like the elephant man, seriously, you need to stop criticizing yourself. You said you even have a college degree. So just start looking for girls with better characters. Like at church. Start going to church. And nerdy girls. Look for the nerdy types. And the shy, quiet types. Girls that don't scream out, "I'm a partier, I'm shallow, I seek thrills, and I'm probably going to cheat on you" by the way they look, talk, act and the lifestyle they lead. Does she smoke? Does she drink? Does she do illegal drugs? Does she dress provocatively? Does she have a thousand friends that she is constantly texting (all of whom are going to take up a portion of her time even as you two are a couple, which means less of her time and energy in you)? Does she have a history of jumping from guy to guy, or does her past show an ability to put forth some effort in a relationship before leaving it, or at least pick boyfriends more wisely? All of these are just some things to think about critically when looking for a girl. Ok? It's not you that you should be criticizing. It's the girls you've been with. You just need to get smart and pick them better. There is never a right reason for a girl to cheat on you. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 You're young and single. Enjoy! Have a cool attitude, go out, be nice, and someone will fall for you.Since you have a degree in IT, be careful: some people will feign interest just to get you to fix their computers. Or help them with that piece of crap called Microsoft Word.
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A
female
reader, PinkyFloya +, writes (22 October 2009):
Keep in mind, confidence is sexy.
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A
female
reader, Sophiea12 +, writes (22 October 2009):
Dont be silly!!! If you have that attitude then its not going to help much:)I feel ;lonely when i'm not in a relationship and scared that i will be alone, but its so rare it turns out that way. Don't think about other people, etc, "oh noo look at him, will i be like that!" Because you are you not someone else. I know you say you feel nervous, but its natural! I always feel nervous around boys, but thats just natural. You never know whats around the corner, you need to enjoy the times when you are single as well as the times you are in a relationship, be happy and positive and it will only help in meeting new people and developing relationships:) You will be ok!!!
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