A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'd like to know other people's opinions on when not to stay friends. My partner (male) broke up with me, and told me he wanted to remain friends. After a month break, I agreed to this but I think I regret it now.I was really hurt when we split up, and most of the split was to do with his hurtful behaviour (saying mean things etc). He accused me of being too 'demanding' when I tried to ask him not to do this to me. We did talk things through a lot before I decided I could be friends, but now he's back up t his 'old tricks' and even though we are not together, I'm getting hurt again by his mean remarks and behaviour. I'm not over him, and I admit that part of wanting to be friends was my hope that he'd want to get back with me, silly as it may sound. But now I am wondering why, if he wants to be 'friends' so badly and says that he doesnt want to get back with me, why is he still so mean? I would miss him but I am starting to think this isn't worth the effort and that I should just make a clean break.
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male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Being friends doesnt mean you go out of your way to talk or meet. It can do. But my idea of staying friends once its over is ITS OVER. I have non ex g/friend type friends i dont see for months or years but stay friends.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 I've met a few people who have managed to stay friends, true and good friends, with their exes. They are people who were always mature enough to handle their differences creatively, or at least couples where one of the partners was very much able to do this. They are also couples that have gone beyond the initial anger stage.
If you want to stay friends with him so you could get him back, that is your decision. You could regret it, though, as it seems you're regretting now. You could waste your time away, and you could get hurt again.
It seems to me that this man is not kind to you. In my opinion, this is not a good foundation for a friendship. I wouldn't want my friends to be mean to me all the time.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): With friends like this, who needs enemies? I say to you, cut off communication altogether.
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