A
male
age
51-59,
*anaja
writes:About 2 years ago I dated a woman who was just out of a 4 year relationship with a guy she was obsessed with, she was on the rebound, we dated for 5 months, she went back to him and I was heartbroken I was in love with her.To make matters worse , this woman lived on the same street as me, so I saw her coming and going. One year later she fell out with him and was dithering whether to see me again or not, I decided to see someone else, when she found out , she started to text me joke texts etc, 8 months later I fell out with my girlfriend(she had a drink problem)My ex in the meantime had moved house , but still kept in touch by text,when I told her Id fallen out, she asked me back out saying she was totally over her ex but kept in touch as friends by text, but never met up with him. we dated for a month, one night she said "its not you its me ", I knew we were finishing then, she assured me we werent,I told her not to keep me on a piece of string and if she was going to dump me just to do it,she went mad saying she wasnt going to dump me and brought more sexy clothes to my house to reassure me we were cool ! The day after I saw her in her exs car, she looked straight at me, the following day she was going on holiday, I was taking her to the airport, I never mentioned seeing her in her exs car,(I was falling for her and didnt want to lose her) she told me she had spent the previous day packing(was a lie) while she was on holiday she never text me, when she came back off holiday,I asked her if we were over she said no, I dropped her off , she clearly didnt want to be bothered by me, saying she was tired, I went home, the following day I rang her, she never answered, so I sent her a text saying I wish she had been more direct with me,she totally ignored it, I sent no more, 3 weeks later she text to say she would come down for her clothes or I could drop them off, I didnt want her down at my house and I dint want to see her,in case she tried to talk me back plus I was hurt, I felt used so my son dropped her stuff off at her house , now I feel weak and stupid, I wish id had the strength in me to finish with her when I saw her in her exs car, or found the strength in me to drop her stuff of myself,It seems as if she was going out of her way to hurt me for no reason,assuring me we werent finishing, shes not back with her ex, even though she was hanging out with him while she was with me, he started seeing someone 2 months ago, I think if she lived on the same street as me she would of tried to get back with me by now, maybe it was easier for her to be a bitch because she doesnt have to see me anymore,I havent contacted her.I just dont know why she didnt tell me she wanted to finish with me before I took her to the airport ,was I just a cheap lift for her, Did I ever mean anything to her, did she come back to me because she felt she was falling for her ex again,did she think she was missing something being away from me ?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 October 2009):
 All I can offer here is speculations about why she acted like that. I think I should not do that, because it wouldn't really help the poster. I do believe I can help in another way.Maybe there is an explanation to why she acted like that, but the truth is, she hurt you deeply. And she knows she did. She won't change her ways, and she won't even apologize. You wonder whether you ever meant something for her, and maybe you did; but you're deeply hurt by her disregard of your feelings.The best thing for you to do is to move on. Try to think of different things and give yourself a break. Some people say you should go out and date others; I think you shouldn't. Do things you enjoy, go out with friends, work, but don't avoid the problem: you're hurt, you know nothing can be done about it, so you will focus on living happily again. Time will help you.Give yourself some time and forgive her. Not just because you should, but, also, because that way she will stop having any influence on you. She won't cause you any more pain.You loved and lost, which is better than never having loved at all. You were happy once, without her, and you will be happy again. You have closure: you did everything you could to be with her.Wish you the best.
A
male
reader, manaja +, writes (23 October 2009):
manaja is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for both replies,ON A FOOTNOTE , I know in the event if she did text me now, I would not reply , but I think she knew where she was with me emotionally a week or so before we split, so I dont expect her to be in touch with me, I also dont feel used by her (initially I did )but , hey , it cost me nothing just a bit of time.
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A
male
reader, ricco  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 I don't know much about this matter,All I can say is sorry man…
Woman now for the most part how to read guys and I feel bad that she used u.
That can be said for woman to. I think u are making a good choice by not contacting her.
If some one hurts u once don't let them hurt u twice or. A third time.
Its hard for people to realize this aspecialy if they think they have a chance at love.
Woman and guys both do this. The diffrance between the two are;woman tend to let their emotions go more easy.
Guy tend to keep inside.
I think if ur with someone even if its for a short time u feel some thing for them
I hope mabe she did feel some thing for u it would make it seem a little less heart less that she did that to u.
Things change don't spend to much time thinking about if u ment some thing to her or not;because if u do than ur going to want to get back to her.
I hope things get better for u.
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