A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I'm looking for advice here, or at least some opinions of people who can relate.I'm totally nuts over a girl who I barely even know, and I have no idea why.I went on a few dates with her several months ago, and she cut off contact with me and started dating an ex-boyfriend.She's got the personality of girls I've hated all my life, she's mean, judgmental, and she's one of those proud to be a heart-breaker girls.She used to laugh about the way ex boyfriends got upset when she dumped them. She even bragged to me about making a boyfriend cry by cheating with his best friend.We've got nothing in common at all, she doesn't look incredible or anything, and despite all that for whatever reason I cannot stop thinking about her.When she stopped talking to me I got majorly depressed, I can't stay attracted to any other girls, I just keep thinking of her.And recently she started flirting with me and my friends (whom she doesn't even know)... I'm trying to just forget it and put her aside, but I can't do it. She's driving me nuts. The fact that she's being flirty with my friends is an outrage for me too.No one knows that I like her like this, I've been avoiding her because I know she's trouble, but it's like she's got a mind trap on me I just can't let go.And for the record, I'm not usually obsessive like this, I've dated nice girls for months on end, and gone further with them, but not been half this depressed when things went sour.I feel like she's got me hypnotized, ANY advice is greatly appreciated here.Thanks alot.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 To be honest, the only explanation I find for this is a) sex with her must have been of a superior kind, or b) she suggested it would be and you're dying to remove the doubt.
My advice can't be other than this: if you know for a fact she's bad, why will you not stand up for yourself and forget about her? Yes, this seems easier to be said than done. But, if you know what the right thing to do is, just do it. You need to act as reason demands.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 She does have you hypnotized. However, no one can hypnotize anyone unless they let them. So for whatever reason, she's got you under her control....but YOU let her do this to you.
Now that you know this, you should know that you have the power to realize what is going on here and to get out from under it. She is a conquest you can not have (or get hurt having) and that makes her all the more powerful.
Do you really want to be with someone like this when there are so many sweet girls out there who will be respectful of you? So, you really DON'T want her so that give you power to get out from under "the spell." Right?
Don't sleep with her, that will only make you feel less self respect for yourself and it could draw you in deeper as she may be the one to likely dump you first and now you are emotionally vested. Even if you dump her first and get over her, your reputation with the sweet girls will suffer.
You sound like a sweet young man, keep it that way. She means you no good.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 You ask the question you know the trouble looming you know the absurdity of this situation and you know the consequences.These types of girls are the girls whom you should be at most f..king and dumping. It is hard to dump them but when you can f... them then dump them you are the winner. I am harsh towards her because you have introduced to us what type of evil person she is.Ok lets get to the point. You are attracted to her because - although she is not a nice person, not outwardly sexy- she is a strong person, woman. Her strentgh lies in one deficiency in her chracter that is lack of sense of consiciousness, feeling of guilt, symptahy and emphaty.But you misinterpret her strength as if she has some deeper inner hidden treasure, a source of richness, inside herself. No she is sick, she disabled.She takes pleasure in making other people look miserable and loser. And since she lacks the sense guilt she also lacks the sense of decency and shame.Nothing is specail about her there is nothing inside her but emptiness and ugliness. F... her once if you can, dont care at all about her and dump her the next day but you wont be able to dump her and probably she weill make you miserable so stay away from her.
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