A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 just filed divorce and I met this man 20 years older than me. We go dancing every Saturday night and have sex whenever we are together. All my families and friends do not like what I am doing. And they think there is no future as he is too old for me. I was in an unhappy marriage for a long time so I just let myself go. This man know exactly what I want and I am happy with him. We get on well and we are serious. Is there anything wrong with what I am doing? Please advise.
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female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 You need to talk to your family in a calm and loving way and explain to them that you really care about this man and that he makes you feel good and give them specific examples of why. Tell them that it hurts you that they don't accept it and you need their support. Try having them spend time together to get to know him better and see how well he treats you!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Nothing you're doing is "wtong", in the sense that it's not bad or inappropriate. I do want to say, however, that you may not be in the same stage of your lives. At 40 and just divorced, I bet you want a second chance, a new life, with new experiences and new people. By the way, the man you're seeing is this, too. But, at 60, I'm sure he doesn't see life the way you see it, and he doesn't expect from life the same things you do. He's in a very different stage of his life, and that could become a problem later.
I notice you're sort of in the "honeymoon" phase. I wonder whether you two could adjust to living the routine of life together.
I don't want to judge a senior citizen harshly. I don't know what it is like to be 60 and have a woman who is 40, but I say this on the basis of what I see in other people.
I have the hunch that this man gives you the security and affection you need now.
In the end, if he is good for you, fine. Just think carefully about the future. I have met couples who work just fine despite this sort of age gap. Maybe you could be yet another of these happy couples.
And then, if you are enjoying it, why should you care about what people say?
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