A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just recently started dating a guy, and the first time we had sex, it was great, it was a little short lived, but great none-the-less.But yesterday.. the house was empty.. we were having plenty of foreplay.. i.e kissing necks, chests, stomachs, bit of oral. He's fairly well endowed.. bare in mind I hadn't slept with anyone this big before but I managed. I asked if he wanted me on top, and he agreed, so we did that for a bit.. then he wanted to be on top himself.. but as soon as that happened.. he went limp.. I tried everything from handjob, to oral, to teasing, to kissing.. and nothing worked. He felt embarassed because he couldn't finish.. and I felt embarassed because I thought it was my fault, like he didn't find me attractive!Ideas?
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foreplay, hand-job, kissing, limp, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lover10  +, writes (29 November 2007):
try viagra
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (26 November 2007):
Believe me i've gone through worse and as a result joined this site.Don't worry too much about it with time,it'll be e joke of the past.It's really nothing you are doing wrong.It's just sexual nervousness showing it's face.With time you'll get over it.Don't even think that you are not attractive because he would not sleep with you in the 1st place.Build your confidence and you'll see how much you can improve.
All the best
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): He'd had one can of fosters. But I don't think that counts as 'drinking'. Lol.Performance Anxiety.. Heard of it, and I can probably make an educated guess about what it means. Doesn't mean I'll be right though :P
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A
male
reader, jm81690 +, writes (26 November 2007):
 It has nothing to do with you, if he found you unattractive he wouldn't have gone far enough to switch positions.
That's only happens to me when I drink, if the guy was drunk that might have played a role.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Have you ever heard about "performance anxiety"?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Thanks for all the insight.
We only see each other once a week.. if that, I'm always working and at college.. and it's a 35 min drive, at best, to go see him. So the sexual tension kinda caught up with us!
Thanks again for the help, it put my mind at ease a little :)
x
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A
male
reader, bigbenlondon +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Don't worry about it, these things happen. It isn't worth wondering what caused it to happen in the first place - could be anything - but chances are once it did happen he couldn't get it off his mind and so things didn't get back up to speed!
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Hi. Very slight nerves is my guess. Doesn't take much to affect an erection. He might not have even felt nervous. Nothing to do with how attractive you are.
Get naked together with no expectation of intercourse, just be close, skin on skin, and kiss and talk. It'll come back.
Good luck.
Richard
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): This happens to a lot of guys especially if its at the beginning of a relationship. Don't worry its not you...he was probably anxious. What you mustn't do is make a big thing out of it because it could cause him even more anxiety. Just take things slowly and focus less on the sex and more on your relationship. It could be that he may have trust issues which could affect his performance..So just take things slowly.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (25 November 2007):
 It wasnt you fault in the slightest!! Maybe he is a bit stressed, people dont always know when they are stressed, maybe at work? Give him time and keep trying :) I hope i helped, Feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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