A
female
age
41-50,
*ebecka3
writes:Hi! I was with this person who wanted to me intimate right away with me after a few dates. I said no. After a while he would call me a few times then one day I stopped calling him. six month later he chased me down after a month we became intimate. I asked him if there was anyone else in the picture and he said no. After a couple month of intimacy he told me that he lived with this other girl for four years but she didn't love him and kicked him out. I kept telling him to go back to her because I didn't think it was right. Then I became pregnant and he told me he had as son already. We had this huge fight. I told him I never wanted to see him again. It took about six month before wecould talk as friends again. Then he admitted that he made a mistake. After my baby was born he started coming around more and calling me sweetie again. A week ago I told him I still care about him and love him as a person but we don't really have a lot in common. He said He still loved me to. He then showed up at my place a few days later and started trying to be affection or intimate with me. He told me that he is sorry for everything. He doesn't want me to talk about other guys and says that this time it is differentor things will work out and possible marriage. He says this other girl is fighting again and he know it will not last. He says that I'm the best thing that ever happened to himand he looked me straight in the eyes when he told me. At the same time we have nothing really in common and he would probably want me to move back to his home state if we did get married. I'm afraid to be intamite. I don't want to get pregnant again right now. Also is he playing with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 November 2007):
 I have to agree, this man is no good. Not knowing the total definition of a player I would go with classic manipulator, lier and a user of people. Stay away. You've already said yourself that you have nothing in common. I think you should limit your interaction with him as only the child's father. I'd be careful too of letting him spend alone time with the baby because he sounds as if he could use the baby as a pawn in his games. Please do not trust this man.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 I agree with calamitysil. He is obviously playing with you. Don't let this go on.
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A
female
reader, calamitysil  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 I think you know deep down that this bloke is taking you for a ride. Right from the start he made it clear he wanted you to sleep with him and so he chased you until he got what he wanted.
When his girlfriend kicked him out, where else would he go but to you. He knows you're there for him and he can manipulate you for his own ends.
What do you get out of this? (Apart from a baby?!)It can't be much fun for you, as you say yourself, you have nothing in common.
He sounds like such a manipulator and the way he "looked right into my eyes" is a classic sign. He's playing with you. Concentrate on the baby he's left you with, maybe the one good thing out of all of this? Stay away from him as he'll only destroy you. Men like this do NOT change!
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