A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge problem in relationships. I don't know what to do. When I get in a relationship I automatically start thinking about other girls and who I would cheat on her with. I cant even fantasize about any of my g/f's it makes me sick I have to think of another girl. Am I just not meant for relationships. Has something in my past screwed me up psychologically. The only girl I can trully be with and think about is as promiscuous as me and cant be trusted. Well, thanks for any help you can offer. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I'm with rcn. Check why you're like this, and then, by all means, fix it. Cheating isn't right.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 November 2007):
 I see possibly a fear to really comit to one person. Is there a fear or a sense because of past experience where you feel as if a real relationship will end up causing you pain? Fantasizing about others and figuring out a plan of who you'd cheat with is a way of not allowing yourself to feel as if you're obligated or have to be comitted to this one person. It can stem from having a low self esteem, past hurts from others, protecting yourself from getting hurt, fearing something longterm when most other things don't last. Not giving others a real chance because of losing someone you wanted to give a chance too, to end up being rejected from them.
I'd take some time to retrace your steps and past experiences, find out where this behavior is coming from. Taking care of what is causing it, will lessen or eliminate behaviors that stem off the cause.
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