A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 42, just divorced and met this man 20 years older than me. We start to have sex two or three time a day when we are together. I really enjoyed it because my marriage is lack of sex. He said I am wanting too much sex and it is a sign of insecurity. It also creates pressure on him when he see me. And that I should learn to enjoy touching and cuddling but not always have full sex. I understand he is much older than me but do I have to do what he says. Please advise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): 2 or 3 times a day would probably wear me out within a couple of weeks, and I'm a bit younger than him.
Try to think quality rather than quantity. I would guess what you need and what he's able to offer are two different things which are some distance apart.
It's no good me saying that you need to compromise, which would work out at 10.5 times a week, because that would, in all probability, also be too much for him to handle.
The fact of the matter is that you're at your sexual peak and he's about 20 years past his. The only solution I can think of is to get yourself a 'Rampant Rabbit' or similar sex toy and incorporate it into your lovemaking.
Phil
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 No you don't! Beacuse you are the woman you do more of the controlling in bed than he, so if you need more sex, he has to understand this and try to fulfill your needs. He may be having erectile dysfuntion, which is another issue. Maybe he should get checked by a doctor. I am in my 40's and still having sex with the same stamina I had in my 20's. The drive just doesn't go away unless there's a physical problem. He may need a shot of male hormones to pick up his urges. There's viagra and a lot of other pills out there too.
If none of this works out for you, I hate to say this but you might try to see a younger guy for your needs.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 As you point out, the core of the problem here is that he can't keep up with your needs. But, instead of just saying so, he sort of tries to make you feel you're unreasonable. This is wrong.
However, if you want to be with him, you will need to adjust to what he can give. What you have here is the problem that so many couples have, only this time it's the woman who wants more sex than the man feels comfortable with.
Also, you need to understand that it's not that he doesn't want to give you what you need. It's that he can't.
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