A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am newly married and my husband keeps pictures of him with previous girlfriends on his computer. Do you think he should get rid of them? We are married now so I don't see why he needs them anymore.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): if you feel he should delete them...then he should...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Dr. Laura said it best when a woman phoned in with the same problem you have.Print the pics off and then frame them and put them in prominent places in the house. When he asks, explain to him that his 'happy memories' are obviously very important to him and shouldn't be hidden away on a computer, but put out for all to see. This makes it very clear what is important in his life.Great memories are fine, but they are just that memories.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your help. I am overreacting!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): A good compromise would be to burn them onto a CD so they are not so easy to access on the actual PC maybe that way they will be more like any other old photo album that just gathers dust. You should be able to say to him how you feel though - that is the most important point.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (27 November 2007):
It seems i'll be the only one to tell your hubby to get rid of his exs' pictures and ask him how he woul feel if you did the same.You are his wife and deserve more respect than pictures of his ex.He's your husband and has an obligation to make you happy and you have the same obligation.Where these obligations conflict you compromise.Tell him how you feel about those pictures and if he truly loves you,he'll change just for you.All the best.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 I'm with Collaroy. His ex's are part of his life, and perhaps that is what he wants to remember.
On the other hand, is there anything else in his behavior that makes you feel insecure? The fact that he just married you should be a good sign. Since it's not, perhaps something is the matter. Is it?
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 It all depends on what type of pictures. If they are just pictures amongst many others then you are probably overreacting. But if they take a prominent place or a slightly suggestive then you have every right to ask him to delete them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): In my opinion it is fine for him to keep these photos.
Face it, he married you and he loves you and he is with you for the rest of his life, but you are not the only girl that he has loved or made love to or enjoyed his life with. He probably has many happy memories with these girls and wants to keep ahold of them. It is unfair for you to deny him his happy memories. I'm sure you have happy memories with ex boyfriends and it would be just as unfair for him to make you delete all the photos you have with them. It goes both ways.
As long as the photos aren't pornographic (which would be a bit creepy!) and as long as he doesn't have a shrine to his exs somewhere, then it is fine. They are just on the computer, not on the walls of his office or whatever. They are hidden. I am sure he does not look at them every day or anything but if he wants to remember happy times every once in a while it is harmless.
Just keep it in perspective- he loves YOU now and these women are not a threat to your marriage. They are a part of his past and as such are a part of him. You must accept this part of him!
Good luck hun
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): No, I don't think he should have to delete them. Unless his exes did something to make him hate them, he probably still loves them, even if in a different way from how he used to. You shouldn't have to make him delete his pictures holding his good memories. They were once his best friends.
Unless of course, he still has sexual pictures of them, in which case I would definitely make him get rid of them. Otherwise he has no reason to delete them.
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