A
female
age
30-35,
*reciousGemx
writes:Me and 2 of my bestmates strongly think that our other bestmate is a bi-sexual but what im worried about is they they both say she fancies me. I'm fine with gays but its different when its your friend. At the moment her voice is just pissing me off. I dont no why but she seems too annoy me by everything she says or does. Me and 1 of my bestmates confronted her about her sexuality and she went bright red and was like 'omg no, im going too walk off!' i see why she got mad but she does nothing too help her deny it; like she said too me today 'you have dust on your arse' (cos id been sitting down) and me and 1 of my bestmates just looked at eachother. I'm scared shes going too try and make a move on me though, she just follows me. I can just look at her and she comes; its weird and creepy in a sort of way. I told my mum and she said that i need too be supportive but if she tries too make a move she will report her. I guess its the right thing. This girl is not pretty, shes never had a boyf and isnt the skinniest. Everyone bullies her and if she wasnt with us she would just be a tagalong too my ex bestmate; basically everyone hates her and i dont want her too have nobody at all. What am i going too do? She knows fine well im into guys only but what am i going too do to just get her too admit she is a bi-sexual and that its obvious too anyone you ask (btw i know that because ive asked people i trust and they all agree). If i sound like a horrible person im not. I'm nomrally really nice for thins like this but it all changes when its your bestmate.
View related questions:
best friend, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, nixt +, writes (24 May 2008):
im 15 nearly 16
im still young but seriously. Erm...stop acting afraid of your friend and realise that a friend is there for you just as much as you are there for them. Stop complaining about her 'coming on to you' and just have fun. It's harder for her right now. Also, to be totally truthful, telling us your story just shows us that you care if she comes onto you so this means you can't trust yourself when your around her. I think you need to come to turns with what you really feel for this girl, then do what you must...
harsh but deal with it
xxx
A
female
reader, laniegirl  +, writes (28 November 2007):
gay people usually have better things to do than hit on straight people. same vice versa, like, have you ever felt like you wanted to date a gay person? you may have found them physically attractive but believe me, usually when you feel like the other person isnt attracted to you...or anyone of your sex, you start to try and find other people who are. my boyfriend turned out to be gay...for the last two months of our relationship he was trying hard to make it seem like he really loved me and blah blah blah. the major clue was that he sung me broadway tunes and thats when i got turned off to him cause i knew he wasnt physically attracted to me.he did things with a guy that we havent done. i was looking for an excuse to dump him anyways...and closure about whether or not he really was homosexual.your friends is just one of those outcasts that nobody likes to be around, so she sees you as popular or pretty or wahtever and thinks that if she tries really hard to be friends with you she will be too
...............................
A
female
reader, PreciousGemx +, writes (27 November 2007):
PreciousGemx is verified as being by the original poster of the question i dont think its right that alot of you are making me sound horrible. im not a nasty person. and im not pushing her away because of her sexuality, im pushing her away because she slags of everyone of my mates because some are chavs or shes fallen out with them.
also im not laughing about her sexuality. maybe i didnt say it but i have alot of bi friends. but when they are closer too you it IS different. i dont care if you want too argue im just saying that coming from me it is.
there is about 1 person who has actually gave me help without attacking me personally.
...............................
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Hun tbh if shes bi you should support her through it not be worried she'll make a ove, if she does then just tell her your not interested. It would be the same if it was a guy who fancied you and you didn't like him back.
Theres nothing wrong with having a friend who's Bi.
I'm straight and most of my friends are bi or gay and I don't have a problem with that. I can easily get dressed in front of any of them and if they like me they'll telll me and I'll turn them down. It's that simple.
...............................
A
male
reader, trigger29  +, writes (27 November 2007):
Hey, I'm a gay male. From the time I was 13 i struggled with coming to terms with my sexuality! I denyed it until I was 17 and then I had to accept I was only attracted to men. It is a very hard thing to go through. People who are straight never experience this because it's always the norm for them. If your friend fancies you it should be complimentary. If she asks you out all you have to say is NO! If a boy you didn't like fancied you I doubt you'd feel like you do about your mate fancying you. You'd love the attention even tho you didn't fancy him!
Don't make fun of her cos that'l just push her more into her shell. She'll tell you she's bi or gay (if she is) when she's ready and she's come to terms with it herself.
The best thing I ever did was come out to everyone that I'm gay but before I did I didn't realise it would be. If you really are her friend be supportive. She may be fat or ugly but she hurts the same as everyone does. Try and put yourself in her shoes!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): What business is it of yours if she bats for both teams?If you are trully okay with homosexuals, then it doesn't matter if she is a friend.I use 'friend' loosely because friends don't talk about friends this way.I mean you say you only hang around her because you don't want her to feel left out. Thats a shitty reason to be friends.Flynn 24mod note: part of text deleted as it could have caused offence.
...............................
A
female
reader, PreciousGemx +, writes (26 November 2007):
PreciousGemx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits just my bestmates say she fancies me by the way she acts. and yeah my mum would still report it if a guy made a move on me when im unwilling.
...............................
A
female
reader, PreciousGemx +, writes (26 November 2007):
PreciousGemx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits just my bestmates say she fancies me by the way she acts. and yeah my mum would still report it if a guy made a move on me when im unwilling.
...............................
A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (26 November 2007):
 I doubt she would make a move on you. For one thing, you don't even know if she is actually bisexual, for another why do you think she fancies you (that's not meant offensively)? And even if she did, she knows you are not attracted to girls and probably wouldn't have the confidence to go up to you and say anything. You're mum is partly right - you should be being supportive. But why would she 'report her' if your friend made a move? Would she do the same if it were a guy who you didn't fancy making a move on you? My best friend is bisexual, but we're both totally comfortable with it. We get changed in the same room, we dance together, we lie on the sofa together, even in bed sometimes, haha. And as far as I know I'm straight. She doesn't fancy me, I know that for a fact. Just because your friend may (or may not) be bisexual, doesn't mean she instantly fancies you because you're a girl.Don't abandon her to be torn apart by the poisonous kids at your school.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 I guess what you have to do is wait and see if she makes a pass. If she does, tell her, in a clear and strong manner, that your sexual preferences are different. Once you say this, leave. The message will be very clear. You'll have more chances of keeping the friendship if you're straightforward.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): reporting your confused friend for making a move is NOT the right thing to do and i personally would want someone to tell me if i had dust all over my arse instead of walking around like that. it sounds like you dont even really like her, that youre with her out of pity and that you and your friends think less of her than yourselves and THAT is the big problem here. saying youre fine with this kinda thing but not when its your best mate is bullshit, im sorry. the fact that its your mate should mean youre more willing to support her and try to understand her, rather than forcing her into a corner with your other mates and trying to force a confession out of her. way i see it, you lot are bullying her and using this as an excuse to push away someone you dont really want to be friends with. this girl is better off without you and if she does fancy you, i cant see why for the life of me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (26 November 2007):
 She is young and probably questioning her sexuality and so what if she is bi i am all my mates know it and there nothing but supportive and you should be too, so what if she fancies you she knows your into guys so wont make a move because she knows your not intrested, dont ask her if she is she will tell you in her own time its a big thing to admit so just leave her alone and be normal with her.
...............................
|
