A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:There is a woman I used to work with that became a good friend, though we rarely see each other. We're both in our early 50's. I did some repair work on her home a few times. I am separated from my cheating liar wife, she is married. About a year ago we met for breakfast before work. We were not working at the same place anymore and she wanted to pay me for some repairs on her home I had done. She made a few comments like I'm, going to break more stuff so you can come over and fix it, I'll always have a reason for you to come over. Another time she said I could have anything I wanted (as payment). I thought it could have been a come on and I didn't react to the overtures. Last weekend I went back at her request to fix water leaks. When I was putting my equipment back in my car, she came out to ask if I was finished. I told her I was and had to get to another job. She asked about payment and I said I'd have to get back to her. She then gave me a hug and a passionate kiss saying she loved me. I smiled and said I love you too, got in my car and drove away. So with all these comments over a few year period, I get the feeling she wants to play on the side. She never come's right out and asked me for sex but it seems like she wants me to follow the hints, and I haven't, I change the subject. I do like this woman and I'm not ready to jeopardize our long friendship over sex if that's what she's really hinting, Should I confront her on the overtures? Do you think she really wants to play on the side with me? I really don't know if she's playing a game or if she really wants to play on the side.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 October 2013):
 Darn, I wish I had thought of that ! If I had distributed passionate kisees , rather than money, to plumbers, electricians etc. , I would have saved quite a bundle along the years !
Yes, she is hinting, in fact, she is doing quite a bit more than that. You talk about a " passionate " kisses , and, IMO, after a certain age you don't go around giving passionate kisses if then you are not willing and ready for more. If you serve the hors d'oeuvres, then you do not hold back the main course. It sounds like she's up for some fun.
What do you want to do with that, it's up to you of course. Then again, " don't do unto others ... " is always a good rule. She is the liar cheating wife... of another man. Apparently you did not like it a whole lot when YOUR wife lied and cheated on you, so you may want to spare the agony to a fellow husband. Not to mention that the potential complications of getting involved with a married lady are a potential high price to pay for a few hours of discrete fun.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (25 October 2013):
 Ok so I read your post twice. Your anger at your wife is clear. Why aren't you angry/ negative about this friend of yours who is also a cheating liar, having snogged you and told you she loves you. I mean, you describe a passionate kiss, not a friendly peck on the cheek. So you already know what she's all about. If you truly don't want to risk your friendship (I'm not so sure that you're not tempted however) then tell her that kissing, hugging and declarations of love are inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (25 October 2013):
Ok so I read your post twice. Your anger at your wife is clear. Why aren't you angry/ negative about this friend of yours who is also a cheating liar, having snogged you and told you she loves you. I mean, you describe a passionate kiss, not a friendly peck on the cheek. So you already know what she's all about. If you truly don't want to risk your friendship (I'm not so sure that you're not tempted however) then tell her that kissing, hugging and declarations of love are inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (24 October 2013):
Ok so I read your post twice. Your anger at your wife is clear. Why aren't you angry/ negative about this friend of yours who is also a cheating liar, having snogged you and told you she loves you. I mean, you describe a passionate kiss, not a friendly peck on the cheek. So you already know what she's all about. If you truly don't want to risk your friendship (I'm not so sure that you're not tempted however) then tell her that kissing, hugging and declarations of love are inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 October 2013):
 I'm with YouWish.
You are MAD at your wife for her cheating and lying, so why would it be OK for HER (your friend) to cheat on HER husband with you? Where is YOUR moral compass?
I think you NEED to spell it out to her, before she makes a fool of herself (she is already there IMHO) but nip this in the bud.
And I agree that what you have with her is not what I would call a friendship, it's more like a mutual rubbing ego thing you got going. I wanna bet if you stop fixing things and did things friends would do, go for lunch or met the husband - join their circle of friends...... She wouldn't be so inclined to wanting to have a romp with you.
I don't really think she is interested in your "friendship" but in hopes that it will lead to more. Like her "declaration" of love and a passionate kiss after you "her shiny knight" fixed a leek... Either she just enjoys flirting with you, because you feel like a safe dude to do so with (because she doesn't think you will act on it) or she wants you to be her knight who takes her away from her boring life... and she is offering sex as an incentive.
Either way you need to make sure she understands that you aren't interested in cheating with her.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 October 2013):
 I think you need to read my pamphlet entitled: "Damn, if she's throwing hints at you, like you throw popcorn to the Minah birds in the zoo.... then take her up on it and GET A LITTLE"
You will find it VEEErrrrry interesting....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (24 October 2013):
 I would think that the hints are there and I think you are wise to have avoided them and changed the subject but there is only so long you can do that for before it all blows out in the open if she doesn't take your hint and leave it be.
Are you flirting back with her? If you are, she is not going to stop giving you this attention - and telling her you love her probably didn't help any, either!
IF you were both single and ready to move on to another relationship i'd say go for it and see where it take you, but it doesn't sound like you're ready to do that anyway and it definitely doesn't sound like sex is something you should be getting into with her, either - it is way more complicated than that and I think the fact you're asking us means that you know it, too and probably know the answer that you seek better than you know and just need a little reassurance that it is the right move...
Well, I say stay clear of this woman, at least for now, and if she asks you to do anything for her don't jump to her defense and she might back off a little. If she keeps being persistent then you could say something to her but it might hurt her feelings a little and could push her away just as much as anything else and so you are between a little bit of a rock and a hard place, unfortunately.
I do hope that you can stay on common ground here and remain friends. Sex is one of those things that gets in the way of a good thing far more often than it should and life is so much more than the sum of getting it on.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 October 2013):
 First of all, you are BOTH married. You may be separated, but you're not divorced.
Second of all, you described your wife as a "cheating liar", showing me that you were really hurt and angry towards her for what she did to you.
Third of all, this woman who kissed you and said she loved you, she's doing the same thing to her husband that your wife did to you, so why would you love a cheater just because she's cheating WITH you instead of ON you? She and your wife are cut from the same cloth.
You don't have a friendship with this cheating woman. You need to steer clear of her, finalize the divorce with your cheating wife, and find a non-cheating single woman to have an actual relationship with instead of fooling around while the both of you are married.
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