A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality?In a dream you choose to be and do exactly how you wish things to be, while in reality you're forced to accept the hand that is dealt and make it work.Is it cowardice to escape the never ending gloomy reality into a dream? your world away from the world. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): First off im not talking about literally dying. Basically im saying is it considered cowardice to think. My reasons for asking is because im a real thinker. Im so much more relaxed and nice when im multitasking. I noticed the other day the kids were being loud as they usually were. However nothing serious just a bit playing and talking loud. Normally I'd immediately make them settle down. But I noticed they were just being youth and it wasn't disruptive or destructive. I am in my thoughts a lot while at work. I daydream about things just to get away and not let work bother me. It works for me bc when I spend the day in my dream I usually dont take work home and rest well. Things go on around me but it never consume my thoughts. My job can be very stressful and at one point I had serious anxiety related to work. Now I just do my work and multitask. I dont think about how messy my coworkers are or how controlling one of my supervisors are. It doesn't bother me that theyre nosey and attempt to throw dirt on me. Bc I really am not there when thats taking place mentally im somewhere else. I deal with my problems but certain problems like that require a job change. It doesn't affect my performance. Some people take work home or take medication bc job stress. Same medication that may lead to complications and other illness. To die in my dream means to take a second or an hour however long I may be stressed to engage in positive uplifting fulfilling thinking. To live in reality is to be so bothered by lifes issues constantly. My mind is where I find rest from a chaotic world. Am I wrong in my thinking?
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 October 2013):
 You want the truth? In a word: Yes, it damn well *is* cowardice. And you have it backwards. In a dream, you can't do or be anything, and nothing that happens has any consequence. In reality, you can grab hold of your destiny. It may be hard, painful, frightening, uncertain, but your triumphs are actual triumphs. In short, you can't die in a dream, because dreaming is not real.
Reality is adventure, and you cannot grow as a person unless you face adversity and let it chip off the weak parts of you and temper you into a person with strength.
If you truly want to die in a dream rather than live a rich and full life, then you need help, and you need it fast, because suicidal thoughts are not healthy.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (24 October 2013):
 You have a very negative of perception of real life.
I'm not quite sure what you mean about dying in a dream rather than living in the real world!
Are you thinking about taking your own life?
I'm finding it very difficult to interpret exactly what you mean but regardless of that it would seem to me that you are suffering from depression.
When you have depression everything looks very bleak and all problems are magnified and appear insurmountable. Many sufferers would rather sleep to enable them to "escape" the problems they're facing.
I think you should seek the help of a counsellor and also maybe your doctor to try to discover why you feel the way the do and then you can work out how to make life better.
Your letter says "you're forced to accept the hand that is dealt and make it work".
If you're a fatalist you may believe this is true but we can be masters of own destiny too.
It's true, some things happen to us that we have absolutely no control over, but there are just as many things that happen that we can change.
A counsellor could help you look at the negatives in your life and help you turn them into positives.
If you're not depressed but just a very expressive and imaginative person, then no, there is no harm in dreaming if it brings you happiness but it's not healthy to dream your life away and let the real one that has real opportunities pass you by.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 October 2013):
 It's kind of like stomping your foot and refusing to be a grown up and have responsibilities. You can do that in private, but it's not going to work.
A LITTLE escapism is good. It can charge your batteries. Living constantly in a dream world, out of reality is not.
My advice is, IF your fantasy world is a good place and you have great adventures, maybe try and write them down, DO something with that imagination.
If you are a gamer (for instance) get of the computer for a week. Make yourself go out, to a movie, a dinner with friend, a museum, a walk - something.. every day.
If you are unemployed, stop dreaming and try and find a job.
If you feel depressed, go see your doctor, no amount of dream world living can cure depression.
I was severely depressed and all I wanted to do was sleep. Because when I slept I mainly had great dreams, it was good - I was good. Of course when I woke up it wasn't and I wasn't. Took me a lot to go to the doctor, but the only regret I have, is not going sooner.
I wouldn't call it cowardice, but I would call it a waste of time. Because reality is.. reality. If you (let's say) are really short but wants to be a model and in your dreams (or SIMS) you are one, then that is a fact that you CAN NOT change once you wake up or re-join reality. You will still be short. Instead, FIND ways to make it an advantage. OR find your own FORTE and run with it. I don't think we are all stuck with one outcome, it's ALL up to US.
But while you spend time in "dream world" life and opportunities pass you by.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (24 October 2013):
IT’s hard to answer this because I’m not sure how literal you are being. Presumably what you’re talking about is finding enjoyment and fulfilment in the escapism of fantasy or dream, as a way of dealing with the realities of life. Is it cowardly? No not really, but it’s probably unhelpful. The overwhelming majority of our conscious experiences come from our awakened state and therefore reality. It’s important to evaluate your circumstances, think about what makes you happy and reflect on what steps you might take to change things. We’re not automatons who sit inactively waiting for things to happen to us, we have choices, decisions and possibilities thrown at us the whole time which we have to act upon. Escapism’s fine, but if you don’t look at influencing the real world, then if you’re unhappy now you’ll remain that way.
I wish you all the very best.
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