A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my husband so much, today we for hair therapy this pretty provocative girl comes n hate that my hubby got amused by her beaty i felt bad insecure n ugly plus im over weight. The girl so tall slim n high heels pretty hair n body i was so dammm angry my hubby was in to her beauty. I felt she was also doing sexi body languahe so my hubby can look at her . He denies n says she didnt notice her sexy ways, i fel his lying, i wanted to kill her n she sats like a tramp i could see no underwear in front pf my husband. I wanted to get him out n go but i kept quite. He was quite n shy i knew her provocatives got him on . I hate that feeling. N some i had a cough attack i had to go to resthroom n. Had to leave him alone with her im angry im not too good looking as her. I came back so soon but my thoughts are lilling me if she did more sexy ways to provoke him. She says shes single n wanted to meet someone why she says that? I feel Hes into her n not me. I dont want her to treat us for hair theraphy but husband is happy that were doing but i geel that is cause of her i wanna kill her
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 October 2013):
 Okay, so you went to see a hair therapy girl, and now you want to kill her? Geeze.
Maybe you should channel that rage into some good P90x workouts. After 90 days, you'll be HOT rage. Seriously, if you're overweight, that can change! Cut out all the crappy greasy sugary foods, get into an exercise regimen (personally, I love circuit training, and many gyms offer a boot camp for people looking for structure and a good jump start to workouts), and you'll start getting energy and vigor you haven't known since high school!
Don't get mad because another woman is prettier. That will always happen. You can change what you have control over, and you can't what you don't. What are you going to do, emotionally bludgeon your husband for being within 5 feet of a pretty woman? You need to get a grip, I think.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2013): There's only one way to solve this problem, and that is just look the best you can, meaning make the most of the cards you've been dealt. You mentioned you're a bit overweight. Maybe you and your husband could start exercising together before or after work, and looking into a healthier diet. That is the only way to lose weight, and keep it off. Look up foods that naturally encourage the burning of body fat, and eat more health food in general. Wear clothes that flatter your body type, (there are different types of clothes for different shapes of women). Change your hair style frequently. You don't even have to change the color for variety. Up, down, half up, half down, braid it, curly, straight, wavy, etc. If you're one of those women who just scrapes it back into a messy bun every day, that can get a bit boring to a guy. In other words, if you're not going to do anything about this, you can't really blame anyone but yourself. Blaming her won't make her any less pretty, and blaming him won't solve anything either. He's not likely to admit he finds her sexually attractive, anyway, because he knows how much it upsets you. We women all get jealous of other women from time to time. I'd be a liar if I said another woman NEVER made me feel insecure. But, I take that negativity, and turn it into to something positive by using it as my inspiration to better myself.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (19 October 2013):
 I'm sorry but I don't think you're not going to like my answer.
This woman may be sexy, tall, pretty and provocative and she may well know it and flirt with her male customers. It probably means nothing to her and although you may find it distasteful, she's not doing anything wrong.
Your husband may well have been flattered by the attention this tall, pretty, sexy lady was paying him. He's only human, but he didn't pursue her and he's done nothing wrong.
You are, however insecure and have low self esteem. You're unhappy that you are overweight and are comparing yourself physically to another woman who's attributes YOU have assessed as being more favourable than yours.
Your husband loves YOU not her. He hasn't strayed and may well not have noticed her behaviour because he's not interested in her.
You need to spend more time looking at the positives of YOU. There must be other things about you that are attractive, beauty isn't all about the outward appearance you know.
If you're that unhappy with how you look then DO something about it. Join a gym, join a diet club, lose some weight, manicure your nails and spend time on your hair and make up each day. NOT for your husband (although I'm sure he'll appreciate it) but for YOU to realise what a lovely lady you really are.
Once you have accepted why your husband loves you and appreciate yourself as a sexy and seductive woman you won't be bothered by other woman.
I speak from experience. I am a larger lady and have spent years trying to lose weight but I have been doing it for everybody else rather than me.
I have now accepted who I am. I am intelligent, educated, funny, caring, popular and loved and (despite my size) am as sexy as hell. I do not feel threatened by other women because I know my strengths and I play to them.
Chill out about this lady and your husband. Play to your strengths and learn to love and believe in yourself.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (19 October 2013):
The problem is yours.
Maybe she was flirty, but then again you seem so insecure and lacking in self-confidence that you may well be wrong. But this would not bother you if you were secure in your relationship. What are you going to do, get so angry you’d want to kill any woman who so much as looks at him? Being that angry will do nothing but make you more miserable, more unhappy, and less confident about yourself.
What you need to do is isolate the cause of your insecurity: you obviously have body image issues and don’t like the way you look. Whether this is all in your head, or whether your husband or some-one else (perhaps from your past) has made you feel like this, only you can judge.
Talking through your feelings with your husband is the only way you stand a chance of making him understand how you feel about yourself, because if you confront him about this girl he’ll just get defensive, insist he did nothing out of line and you’ll go around in circles.
The first thing to do though is calm down and, as I said, think about where this insecurity comes from. This is about much more than a sexy hair therapist.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2013): I can tell you are really angry, and I completely understand you feeling this way. I think all of us girls get that way from time to time.
First, you should talk to your husband and explain WHY you feel this way in specific terms.
Either a) request that he pay more attention to YOU when she's around. After all, he's your husband. He should treat you like a queen, and put you above other girls.
or b) Fire the hair therapy girl. Get her out of the picture.
Secondly, do something to boost your own self-confidence. Whether it's a make-over or shopping spree for all new clothing, and make hubby pay for it! LOL
There will always be people out there like her, but there is only one of YOU. And, your hubby is married to YOU.
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