A
female
age
51-59,
*udith3030
writes:Please anyone out there who could answer this question. What would be the reason as why a man with a child who claims to be separated from his wife, still wants to stay married to his estranged wife? He is of Turkish background. His excuse is because of his son who is only 10 years old. He claimed that they are no longer intimate , but what I am wondering is how come he wont file for divorce if he is unhappy. Are there re reprecautions of being of Turkish married to a Turkish woman if he decides to divorce her?
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female
reader, Judith3030 +, writes (4 September 2014):
Judith3030 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour responses to the questions are so dead on. I am not an idiot just wanted to make sure everyone of my kind and the opposite kind saw something different from what I have seen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 September 2014):
 Listen, if he is still married, and he's saying these things so that you will have sex with him, then you need to see right through it. The stuff you're writing on here that he's saying is Stuff Cheater's Say to Groom Their Mistresses 101.
1. "We're no longer intimate".
2. "We're staying together just for the child".
3. "We're separated" (side note..how stupid does he think you are?! If he's thrown the excuse of the 10 year old child, then he's LIVING with his wife!
4. "We're divorced already in our hearts"
5. "My culture doesn't look too kindly on divorce". (side note...which do you think they'll look less kindly on, divorce, or blatant adultery??)
In short, his words are utterly and completely worthless, and if his wife found out about you, he'll be singing a different tune, one that goes like this:
1. She means nothing to me!
2. It was just sex, I don't love her!
3. She seduced me, it was a mistake!
4. I only love you! She can't come between us!
and
5. Please don't leave me! I'll do whatever I can to make it work! I love you!
6. Let's go to couples counseling! We need to work out our love for each other. I'll stop seeing her and block her from everything!
Get the picture now?? This plays out over and over and over, and nationality means nothing. You live in the US. If he's using nationality as another way to seduce you/butter you up, then that's pretty low. His culture frowns on extramarital relationships, so if he truly was a devotee to his culture, he would move heaven and earth to make it right with his wife and son and devote years to marriage counseling because his culture dictated that he must make it work at all costs.
You *will* get hurt.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I would think if there are any "repercussions" it would be (for him) financially and socially (for the wife).
Separated means... still married.
So if you are looking for a future with this guy, I doubt he will ever divorce her. That way he doesn't have to commit 100% to you. In that sense I don't think his nationality matters.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (4 September 2014):
Maybe he knows or fears he will get the disapproval of his friends and family if he divorces. I don't know how religious he is or how moral his family are but that could play a part.He might also stand to lose a lot financially if he divorces. He'll need to pay child support and alimony (I assume) but he might also stand to lose a lot more. His father-in-law might own the house he lives in, for example, which would mean that he would lose his home. Or he might work for his father-in-law which would mean he'd need to look for another job.He might fear that his wife will deny him access to his children. He might worry that his children will hate him if he leaves their mother.However, I think the most likely reason that he isn't divorcing his wife is because they are not as "estranged" as he claims they are. Just because a guy says that his marriage is unfulfilling doesn't mean to say it's true
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