A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My hubby is addicted to his phone. He is either on fb(mainly political stuff) or playing games or watching cricket.It annoys me to the core sometimes. Even when we sit down for coffee in the morning he can't keep his eyes off the phone. I have snooped into his history a few times. I know it's bad, but i did it out of curiosity. I didn't find anything weird. He is always reading about political matters. I have told him several times that I feel ignored and it annoys me.he said sorry and for a few days he'd keep away from the phone. On last Sunday I fell sick and couldn't get up from the bed whole day. And my hubby spent the entire day sitting next to me with the phone in his hand. He was glued to the phone. From the time he gets up from the bed till he goes to sleep in the night he is on fb. Other than this he is a wonderful, caring guy. I just don't know why he is addicted to his stupid phone. I know all his passwords. He doesn't have any problem with me checking out his fb n mail. Am I overreacting? Is this normal with guys? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): It's me OP. Thanks agony aunts. I had a long conversation with him about his phone addiction. I explained how uncomfortable it's making me feel and that we are spending less time with each other because of his addiction. I made it clear that im not going to put up with it anymore. it's been 6 days and he hasn't touched his phone for more than 15min a day. We are spending more time with each other, going out and enjoying. Thanks for the great advice.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 September 2015):
 I know how you feel. Addicted people however, do not see the problem. They are often oblivious to how much time they spend on their phone/games/how much the do the addictive behaviour. They deny it (very common) and try to shift blame.
My suggestion is that you talk to him again about the severity of the situation, and tell him that you see the problem starting up again only days after each time you've talked to him. Tell him you miss him, would like to spend time with him, have conversations and enjoy his company. For the sake of your relationship. Ask him if he wants the same (get him on board as a team player). Then ask him if he has any suggestions to how to make it better. You need concrete plans. For example set times for when and for how long the phone can be in use when you are together. If you live together, you can for example say that no phone should be in use between this and that hour of the day. Or that phone use between 4pm and 10pm in the afternoon/evening should be restricted to two hours, counting from when he first picks up his phone.
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 September 2015):
 Has this been going on a month or more? My instinct says he could be cheating. Hes acting very distant. Sorry. Grab his phone when hes asleep and check his contacts.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 September 2015):
 Heh, in the late 90's, the phenomenon of internet addiction was the subject of a lot of news stories and editorials. Had this been the 80's, you might have been complaining that your husband might have sat next to you watching television, which was the addiction many wives wrung their hands over.
Yep, no tech during dinner for my family too, and no tech during a family night. A good compromise would be to have certain times set aside just for the two of you instead of him using it until you're fed up, then he stops for a few days, then back on, wash, rinse, repeat.
Another thing you can do is get into a conversation with him about the politics he sees. That way, you can turn what may be an isolating event into something that could bond you or at least inspire engaging conversation.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 September 2015):
 Why not set some boundaries?
At our house there is NO tech at the dinner table (nor for breakfast/lunch either).
You feeling sick and being in bed might NOT be as exiting for him, so I can see why he took the phone out. At least he hung out with his sick wife.
And there is ALWAYS the option to tell him, can you please put he phone away and talk to me.
I do think it's becoming more and more "normal" for people to be overly attached to their phones these days.
...............................
|
