A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with a man for almost a year and only recently been sexually active with him. He recently made a comment 'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them' I told them they are all back from my earlier teen years and that unfortunately I can't do much about them. I would say I have a good amount of them. They are on my boobs, my thighs, and belly. They are worse on my thighs. I've never been pregnant so I can't use that excuse, they are just from growing/puberty I guess. I asked him straight forward if they bothered him he said 'no not really there are just so many it can be a distraction' I'm wondering if they bother him more than he says. I feel bad because it's not something I can just go fix. I know stretch marks are normal but I do have a lot. Should I talk to him again?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2015):
 Ah, your BF is a ignoramus.
ig·no·ra·mus
?ign?'ram?s,?ign?'ram?s/
noun
an ignorant or stupid person.
It's genetic. I have one stretch mark from 3 pregnancies. My husband on the other hand had TON of them from being super skinny to working out and gaining weight (muscles etc).
2 of my kids don't have any, but one of them do. She also grew 2 inches in a summer.
There is a product called bio oil that can help "bleach" (basically) the stretchmarks, make the fade so they are not so noticeable. Also USE sunblock if you are out in the sun on the marks as they react like scars.
Cocoa butter and bio oil are both good for keeping your skin subtle.
You are who you are, and stretchmarks is part of the package - either he will SHUT up about it and accept it, or he can walk out that door.
A
female
reader, shalley  +, writes (26 August 2015):
 I think it's ok for your bf to tell you if he's not comfortable with something. Not being able to communicate well usually breaks relationships. He might have no idea how much this would bother you. I think you should just explain to him that stretch marks are natural and and there's little or nothing you can do about it. His reactions afterwards should determine whether he truly loves you or he's only interested in your body.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): There is barely anyone nowadays who doesnt have them! My sister is so skinny and always has been and she has stretch marks; its almost like a right of passage into young adulthood! Like even if he thought it, don't say it. My boyfriend never comments negatively on mine and always tells me he loves me the way I am. When you love someone you don't let those things even bother you.Like what would happen if you had children and your body changed because you carried his children?! Tell him to grow up!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): ooh darling, not to sound rude is a phrase you must return to him one day..but as for the rest may i now tell you to try a good petroleum rub such as vaseline, cocoa butter, foxes tub o butter, but not of course real petrol cos that would do no good at all and would be dangerous ..i mean something like the inexpensive beauty products.Over years your skin will definately glo with health but these are best worn at night as they can be sticky and require a vigorous bit of rubbing in. Get the boyfriend to do the rubbing.
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A
male
reader, Benny tolex +, writes (26 August 2015):
 Stretch marks have no real effect on your personal life. My gf has it and am used to it. I Won't jump into the conclusion of blaming your bf
Seriously he shouldn't have said that , if he
loves you so much it will mean nothing to him. I will want you to explain to him. Let him know that almost every lady have stretch mark.
I have one in my arm lolz
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (26 August 2015):
 Hi,you are who you are, your body is your temple and it is what it is, warts and all and if your bf doesn't respect you enough, to love you as you are, then he is the one, not worth having in your life.I so feel for you, he is horrible for even saying that! He has no true common sense, but i am very sad to say, there are so many men who are shallow out there, because when the see that picture perfect woman on a billboard, inside a magazine, or within a DVD porno, they actually believe that she is as perfect all over as she appears!They seem to forget that in the real world, nobody is this perfect.As the previous reader mentioned, it's all about makeup, airbrushing, surgery and excellent lighting, which ironically makes me remember why actors from the 1930s, 40s, 50s and beyond, looked so amazing on screen.I once watched a documentary that mentioned, it was all about the lighting and the makeup.The same thing was mentioned on an Australian show called TVSN, whilst the makeup artist was applying excellent makeup to the models face.Most actors, models and models or ordinary folk doing a photo shoot, used to wear what they call, 'wax theatrical makeup'. Many still do.It was designed to hide all blemishes, flaws and facial oils.To all the guys out there, i can assure you that all those models, porn stars and actors, DO NOT wake up in the morning looking picture perfect.That's why they all have personal trainers, body sculpting, surgery, makeup artists, hair stylists, wardrobe designers and the list goes on and on.I like to think that, we are all beautiful in our own way and if the person we're with simply takes us for who we are, the real us, then the world would be a much better and nicer place.My dear, you must leave this man and find a decent guy who will adore you and let me tell you this.He is out there! He is, but you must stop allowing yourself to be made to feel less than gorgeous, simply bec of 'stretch marks'!Do not allow anybody to put you down, especially your bf and in the bedroom!Tell your bf to grow a new brain and sort his artificial views out.You are beautiful and you don't need anybody to tell you otherwise.All the best and please let me know how you get on. I want to know. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): In my experience, a guy that really likes you for who you are will not be bothered by stretchmarks. I got tons of stretchmarks on my belly after my pregnancy and my husband has never been bothered by them. I used to think that it was his obligation to love my body no matter what because we are married, so I was still insecure about them, but my "lover" (that is another story) who is a playboy and only dates supermodels, has also never been bothered by them. So your boyfriend is just immature and unrealistic, living in a fantasy world. After that comment, there will be more. You will have to have really high self esteem to put up with that idiot.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 August 2015):
 You say to him: "Boyfriend, not to sound rude... but your brain seems not to have much in it, maybe you should do something about that....."
Then, see where the conversation goes from there....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2015): I really feel for you, I know how much these things can affect your confidence. On my 18th birthday my then-boyfriend said "You're allowed to do porn now- 'hairy' would be your category, some guys really like that". I assumed "some guys" meant not him.I had never felt so ashamed of having pubic hair. Over 4 years later that memory is still upsetting. Nobody needs those kind of comments!Stretch marks are natural and normal and he will realise that one day. Men understand these things, but boys do not. Please don't let it get you down, your body is not the problem; his immaturity is the only issue here.Also, a lot of my own stretch marks have faded over the last few years. Some that were once pink or red are almost invisible now, and only show up a bit more when I get a suntan. Yours probably won't be very noticeable in the future, and by then the boys around you will have grown up and won't care anyway.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 August 2015):
 Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Stretch marks are genetic for the most part, and even the most fit and muscular thin women can get them simply by having breasts and DEFINITELY by getting pregnant. Even the most expensive surgical options are painful, very expensive, and not guaranteed to work.
What would this guy have his girl do, go under the knife every 2 years and after all of her pregnancies because he got too used to airbrushed porn?? What a pig.
This guy needs to go from your life. Complaining about a natural genetic part of many women's lives (up to 90% of women get them. They are not just part of pregnancy or obesity) is the epitome of shallow.
He also is lying by saying they don't really bother him, but in the same breath asking you to "do" something about them. You can no sooner do anything about them than he can change his penis size.
Tell the asshat to go back to his porn and stay celibate forever before he inflicts himself on any other unsuspecting women.
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