A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Could be long. This has been ongoing for 3 months now and it's getting worse, not better. This girl used me as she was bi-curious and I fell for her. She doesn't want me, I want her. I can't just be friends with her but I don't wanna stop talking to her as I really enjoy her company.All I keep doing is trying to kiss her to which she physically pushes me away.I know I'm being selfish but her reasons for this decision is that she loves having 1 night stands because 'everyone is different', she doesn't like to get with people even though we did a few times.She is really driving me crazy but I had a huge outburst as I can be depressive then high, pretty bipolar if you ask me, which barely anyone sees that side of me.I don't know where to go from here because I feel lonely if we don't speak it's fine if I see her during the day, only at night I go a bit crazy lol.HELP?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 August 2015):
 Yeah, she sure did use you. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You have to stop trying to kiss her or even touch he in any way. In fact, you have to do the OPPOSITE of what you feel like doing.
For example, you're feeling like you can't live without her, so act like you're indifferent to her existence.
You feel like you want to touch her? Act like she's covered in feces. You would not want to kiss a pile of crap, would you?
Instead of pining for her like you're doing, act like she's the last person on earth you'd ever want to talk to. She used you and tossed you. Your ego is freaking out because of the rejection, making you throw yourself at her. Your limerence (that butterflies feeling you get when you really like someone) is causing you to obsess over her, making you debase yourself by trying to get all over her when she's pushing you away.
The only way you can stop these feelings and urges is to starve them, meaning you must avoid her. I know you like her company, but it's not good for you now, and truly?? You'd want to be good friends with someone who uses another so callously? That's not friend material.
You've gotta clear her out of your system so you can move on. I guarantee that when you meet someone who's as into you as you are of them, you'll look at this event as a blessing in disguise, because if this other girl wasn't such a user, you'd never be able to meet someone much better.
See this girl for what she is and get away from her. Block, delete, avoid, don't touch, all of it. It will hurt, but it'll hurt more intensely and longer if you keep pining after her and trying to grab onto her like you're doing. Keep your dignity and poise. Those traits are a lot more attractive than falling apart, having huge outbursts, and throwing yourself at her. She's not worth that, trust me. No users are ever worth that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): When your feelings and emotions get out of control for someone, you disassociate; and put distance between you.
You cut all ties, and go cold-turkey; until you break free.
That's the adult thing to do.
You can't force feelings for you out of another person. It's foolish, and wrong, to be persistent when they have made it clear they're not interested. What's the point of forcing the issue when someone resists your advances? NO means NO! You are infatuated and that's on you. She has no responsibility for that.
Time and time again; people use "mental-illness" as an excuse to put other people through difficult situations. If you are cognizant you're doing something wrong; then you're not that bad off. You're just stubborn and determined. You want to have it your way. Well, it's not going to be.
If you can't help yourself, then get help. It's as simple as that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2015):
 Step away.
HOW would you like it if some DUDE did to you what YOU are doing to her?
I mean you don't just try and plant a wet one on someone if you aren't sure they WANT a kiss. That's harassment.
I'd say cut the contact because you two bring the worst out in each other and NEXT time you don't date the "bi-curious" - date someone who is OK with dating girls.
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (27 August 2015):
 I know from experience that you cannot make someone love you. The matter how many signs they throw your way that they enjoy your company and have fun with you sexually. In my opinion the best thing that you can do is to cut off all communication with this person until your feelings subside. Nothing you do can make her come around. So the best thing that you can do is take care of yourself. Trust me.
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