A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just started dating a guy Ive known 20yrs cos he been asking me out for ever and said I mean whole world to him. Hes a lovely guy and I thought life’s getting better. But now we together, he works away and never texts me, except every 3 days or so. He said he wants to do loads in bed cos he loves me but im lucky to get it twice a week (when hes here) he doesn’t seem into sex at all (or just with me) and even told me once to finish myself off in spare room. I have brought it up, cos ive been wearing sexy undies etc and asked what he likes etc and I do them but he wont, hes getting a bit better so hes listening. I text him once on a Friday and he wasn’t happy cos I asked him if he was ok cos he was moody as usual so I said don’t understand eggshells situation when talking to you He shouted "ur making me raging mad now, u know I don't have time to myself, what have I done to deserve this, nothing!" He said I don't wanna Fu***** break up with u. If ur like this, don't bother messaging me, only talk when I'm home. Uve used up all my night cos u can't listen!! He bought me loads of presents when he came home. He does take his phone into the bathroom and once he went to bed with in in his dressing gown which is huge warning for me. He said he wants us to go the whole way etc cos he's always wanted to be with me and wants me as his long term permanent girlfriend. but im scared cos b4 we got together i was out of reach for 3 months on facebook and told him to grab me on twitter.Update: told me he spent a weekend with this girl - yes they slept together. When i asked him why if he wanted to get with me he said 'I thought you were ignoring me' even though i told him where i was. He can be lovely when he wants to be and i do love him a lot. But stimes I try to have sex and hes like '' Time to sleep now. its embarrassing, and he said he loves lots of blow jobs which i dont mind but its a 2 way thing - he doesnt kiss, fondle or anything.Update 2: He sent me a lovely pic recently saying he misses me, i found out he added a girl to his fb (shes from my town) so was he guilty? Just found out hes going earlier than expected and will miss my birthday - i told him im scared =, will we be ok and he just keeps saying 'well be fine, hush up.Update 3: He will have a flat provided by his work so now im terrified, usually hes on a camp. I told him im scared and hope w will be ok - he said we'll be fine and to stop adding to his problems!! I appologised and said im just scared and dont want2 be a problem??? He said "then stop moaning and no stupid nonsense" - basically i feel like i need to just shut up.Update 4: But have feeling hes talking to this girl , he rubs my head affectionately and always sniffing my hair etc i love him and was excited about visiting etc cos i get to go on a hour plane ride. His response 'Im not there yet you div, i do panic about him cheating and he says 'Shut up everything will be ok, stop moaning! i dont know hat to do, i am soooo scared of losing him but also scared of losing my friend who i love and care about and i keep crying when im o
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 He had you totally wrapped around his fingers and I suspect that his temper tantrums weren't even real but he gets off on torturing you emotionally. You depend too much on his approval. He tempts you with sweet words, then withhold what you really want in order to feel superior to you. He already cheated on you, so what is there to be scared about. Use your time apart to contemplate why you would let yourself be mistreated like this.
Do you know that a vulnerable woman inspires protective instincts in a man? Whenever a man in love hears a woman being scared, they would do everything they could to remove that fear, and to make you trust him. This supposed friend is just doing the exact opposite and for some reason you are so scared of losing him. When he told you to stop moaning, it means he's going to do whatever he pleases and you don't have a right to stop his cheating.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 Oh my goodness. You have a guy who tells you to "stop moaning," apparently has blowjobs on tap from you and does nothing to make you moan in the right way.
Woman. What the hell. This guy is a loser with a capital L.
I don't care if you've known him for 5 minutes or 50 years, he's an ass. Get away from him as soon as possible. He's not a lovely guy.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 September 2015):
 Get away from this abusive, cheating, train-wreck of a man.
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