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Am I shrinking or is she getting loose?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2011)
A male United States age 26-29, *oushite writes:

so the other day me and my girlfriend was having sex.. it seems as thought she is getting really loose now.. i gotta admit im a pretty small guy and i am pretty small down there, but now it seems like i can't really feel her as much as i use to..and she gave me a blank stare the other day when doing it..it seemed like she couldn't feel anything..

im scared that she is faking her orgasm..i dont find anyway how i could get smaller...i dont take any pills or anything im clean so am i getting smaller or is she getting loose?

how can i approach her about the orgasms..i asked her plenty of times but she said they were real...she seems to get upset whenever i ask..because she feels like i dont believe her

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntNeither.

She is starting to relax and is most likely more lubricated now and you have not shrunk. Try differnt positions.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (9 October 2011):

I'm sure you have some intuition into this--she may not be enjoying it that much--as others have said, it's time for more exploration. In my opinion, a blank stare means she's bored.

Again, she's not getting loose and you're not shrinking. Women push out 10lb. babies!

Work with what you got, you got to work with the saying, "it's about the motion of the ocean, not the size of the ship."

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (9 October 2011):

YouWish agony auntActually, the opposite is true.

A "blank stare" might just mean that she's really getting into it...a kind of nirvana, so to speak.

Like someone said earlier, it's probably more like she's getting better lubed, meaning she's getting a lot more comfortable with you and is letting herself go more while with you, as opposed to tense and tight.

Trust me, she's not getting looser at 17. We're able to have kids and still keep having sex! It's more like she's getting more comfortable with you and letting go more.

I echo my fellow aunts in saying that now's not the time to get insecure and self-conscious. Now's the time to get adventurous and try new things with each other! You've accomplished a big thing in getting her to be this comfortable. Now have fun!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 October 2011):

chigirl agony auntI think probably what is happening is that as you and her get to know each other better sexually, you turn her on more. When she is turned on her vagina may appear "looser" as she isn't tense, but relaxed. Also, when turned on more she will be wetter, and this in turn decrease the sensation.

Drop asking about the orgasms. Yes, she might be faking them, but that is honestly her own problem. If she doesn't want you to learn what actually pleases her, then let it be. Maybe she'll come around and stop faking it, but then again maybe she's one of those lucky few who orgasm at the drop of a hat. You just don't know.

Maybe you should try and talk about things with her. Do not, under any circumstance, call her loose. However you can say that you discovered in some positions you feel her better than others, and that some times you do not feel as much as before, probably due to moisture and her wetness. Which is normal, and it happens to everyone. If you can't feel her so well in one position there's nothing wrong, you just move to another position where you feel more.

Then again, the less intense sensation you experience the longer you last. Just try to keep things no longer than 30 minutes.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntthere are times bodies fit better than others.

I doubt she's stretching or you're shrinking but sometimes she may be better lubed than others or you may be more aroused than other times.

certain positions work better than others also....

be advised that MOST women do not come from penetration and at age 16 women may think that sex is great... but I can promise her that it won't really be great for nearly another 20 years.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (9 October 2011):

janniepeg agony auntVaginas don't get loose for no reason.

At the beginning it's tight. Now she doesn't need as much stimulation to open up, to get aroused. That's my guess. The elasticity in each girl is different. You can only know the truth by comparing with other people. If there is nothing wrong with the relationship then you just have to trust that she is telling you the truth about enjoying sex.

It could be that when you saw her blank stare you got turned off, making you smaller.

I don't know if she is faking orgasm. Asking several times won't help because there are women who can fake for years and it gets harder to admit the truth as years go by. At the mean time you can practice finding her G spot. It's a rough spongy area two inches up. You can find it by fingering her first. Even a three inch penis can hit that. But if you get soft because of insecurity you can never achieve that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011):

Neither you're 'shrinking' nor had she become 'loose'. She is only feeling more comfortable having sex with you now, and she wants you more, so she became much more lubricated, giving you the feeling you described, but it is actually a sign that she enjoys your intimate moments pretty much and looks forward to it. Chances are she is not fading the orgasm given the aforementioned.

Enjoy and relax. You're apparently doing a good job.

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A female reader, baby-blue-eyes United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2011):

from what ive heard and read on this site a woman does not get looser from the point they lose their viriginity till the time they have their first child. but having said that i dont see how your penis could get smaller. maybe try it in a different position see if that helps?

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