A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner spent four hours talking about his ex yesterday. About how they broke the bed by having so much sex, about how her butt is just amazing etc but also how she was annoying, and caused fights. So it wasn't all praise but just a long, LONG time of stories. They broke up almost ten years ago and Ive been with ihm for five so... What do I make of this? Every time he needs to point out an example he uses stories about an ex.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 October 2011):
 I would ask him why he keeps bringing her up. Maybe it is because he has no other example to bring up.
I'm guessing she was a huge part of his life at some point and some of that stuck with him.
If you are tired of hearing about her, tell him.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 October 2011):
 I read this through twice. Of course, the knee jerk reaction is to wonder why she's on his mind like this. However, after thinking about it, I think I might know what's going on here.
He broke up with her 10 years ago. He's been with you 5. In his mind, you're his best friend in the entire world now. He's opening up to you about an important era in his life. He feels comfortable with you to share these things. I doubt that he's not over her or anything. He's simply....opening up.
Now, that wouldn't be the case if he's also stalking her Facebook page or has made contact with her.
But, if the subject came up, and he was this forthright, he might need reminding that while you're his friend and love hearing what's on his mind and learning all about him, and that you treasure who he is and where he comes from, tell him that the only person you want to hear about marathon sex is YOU.
Be gentle and nice about it, because I don't even think he's doing it intentionally. Just tell him that you get a bit jealous when hearing about his past bedroom escapades. Then give him the bedroom eyes yourself.
Trust me, he's just being slightly dense, but he trusts and loves you. He just needs reminding that you want him all to yourself, and that the only bedtime stories you want to hear is when he's in bed with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): The first thing I wondered was how old he was.
He's been split up 10 years from her, but after 5 with you I would think he wouldn't remember too much, he clearly loved her though.Maybe it was his first love..who knows. But he isn't considering your feelings so I would as the others say, tell him your not comfortable listening to him going on for hours about her. Not many people would be.Tell him how you feel about him reminicing, he probably doesn't realise it even bothers you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2011):
 and how do you react?
do you ask why he brings her up?
do you tell him it bothers you?
it may just be how he relates.... it's what he knows and how he expresses himself... it may mean nothing serious but you have to talk to him about it to find out.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Yes... you need to ask HIM why so much of what he says is couched in some form of throwback to his ex-...
Does he hold on to OTHER situations in his/your life for what seems an inordinate time? If so... then you can chalk up the "ex-" thing to a pattern.
HOWEVER.... I would think you'd find it irritating... primarily because it seems to be evidence of his not "moving on" following the break with his ex-.
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