A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Six months back, I started teaching Soccer to my girlfriend. We have been together two years. Two days ago, we had one-to-one match and I got shocked to death that she beat me by 6 goals to 3, out smarting me in every aspect of the game. It got me so pissed off that since I last evening, I am not seeing her and always make excuses like I am having work. I have been playing soccer for the last 14 years and I am the one who taught her and in just six months she outfoxed me, this is really ridiculous. I love her but this is simply unacceptable hell. Guys, tell me how should I control my jealously and this shock that how come she defeated me? Put some light on my miserable conditions which I am confronting right now and would appreciated if it could help me get back into sanity . Thanks in advance!
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male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 Get over it dude, so a girl beat you, what's the big deal?
It just means that you're a good teacher and hey, you have a girlfriend that's good at soccer!
Don't let this eat you up, jealousy can consume you and kill a relationship. Just accept it and move on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): Look, mate. It's just bloody game.She clearly like you enough to actually pay attention to a damn thing you taught and actually absorbed your love of the game from you. How many women do you know would do that?I suggest, if it means so much to you, that you go and train some more yourself so that you can boost your ego again.But if you do that, then you are turning it into a competition and no relationship should be a competition.Look, I understand how emasculating it can be to be beaten by ANYONE who has only been playing for such a short time compared to yourself, even more when they are a woman, but some people just have a natural affinity for some things. As she obviously does for football.I'd say it's time to shelve your pride and let this one slide. If you absolutely must be better then her because you are egotistical enough that it threatens your manhood, then find something else you can beat her at and don't teach her it.Elsewise, man up and get the hell over yourself.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (6 October 2011):
 I echo everyone else on here! Her beating you means that you were an excellent teacher. Rather than get pissed off and pout for 2 days, look st her accomplishment as a result of your skills as a soccer player and a teacher.
Not only that, but do you realize how hot it is for a girl to beat her boyfriend at something? Why do you think many guys will intentionally throw a game and allow their girlfriends to beat them? Because it's an aphrodisiac to us to win, and then celebrate with the guy we beat, if you know what I mean!
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A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (6 October 2011):
 You taught her you should be a) pleased with yourself that you did a good job and B) proud that she was willing to get involved with something you loved and the fact she's put so much effort into it that she has become blooming good at it.
I'm sorry for the tough words but being a little bit disappointed she beat you is one thing, but then not speaking to her because she beat you is a very childish attitude.
Man up before you loose her!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 October 2011):
 Say hello to your ego. "Hi ego!" Just because someone has been doing something for a long time, doesn't mean that he is going to be better at it than a naturally gifted athlete. Just because that other individual is a girl, doesn't mean that you will naturally dominate in all aspects... Reality check for the ego.
If you can't get over it, then you need to whittle your ego down to an acceptable size. Perhaps challenge some more athletes to some matches until it's been properly beaten up and is a more manageable size?
My grandmother was an excellent pool player. She would routinely defeat men who assumed that someone who looked like a granny would be a piece of cake to beat.
Your basic assumption needs changing. She's smaller, faster on her feet and can out-strategize you, at least in this one match. I guess you were relying on your entrenched habits and larger size? Oops.
Now that your ego has shown itself to be a poor judge of her skills, maybe it's time to let it sit down and shut up for a while, at least until you learn some new strategies yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 October 2011):
From a man to another man:
Being beaten by your girlfriend isn't bad.
Being beaten, then being jealous and throwing your toys out the pram is bad.
Accept you lost gracefully to someone who you taught to play. The more you make of this, the more embarrassing it becomes for you. Man up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 October 2011):
 Be proud of her, be proud of yourself as a teacher - you obviously taught her all the right moves.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 October 2011):
 What a compliment to her teacher! He taught her well. Since YOU taught her to do this YOU should be very proud of yourself.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 October 2011):
 Hey, accept that some people are just better at things than you are. Doesn't make you a loser, or mean that you're not good. Some people just have a talent for it! Be happy instead that you have a talent for teaching, since she learned so fast.
If you were not willing to let her become great at it, why did you teach her?
Face your girlfriend and tell her that you are sorry you have been avoiding her, but that you feel football has always been your thing, and it surprised you that she was better at it than you. But that from now on you do not wish to play with her again, because you want football to be your thing, the place where you feel great about yourself.
You are feeling the way you feel because of insecurity about your masculinity. You felt ok teaching her as that gave you some "power" over her, in this field. Now that power is lost, and she is independent. You relied too much on this power-feeling to make you feel good. Which is why you now feel bad, because you no longer enjoy that feeling of power over her, you no longer feel better than her.
Focus on other feelings and healthy ways to feel good about yourself. That is the only way to go.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 October 2011):
 "won" not "one" mia culpa
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 October 2011):
My husband taught me how to play Chess. The first time I beat him he had a similar reaction. But since he was a grownup he got over it. I suggest you do the same. And by the way, since then he's one a few but then so have I. I told him he should be proud he's such a good teacher.
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A
female
reader, mama soph +, writes (6 October 2011):
You should be pleased and proud as punch that she beat you! You taught her! And look what a good job you have done! We all have to lose at something, and the same goes with winning! No matter how good we are at something to lose gives us something to work harder for so as to win next time and better ourselves. I bet your girlfriend was extremely pleased and happy that she won and so she should be as should you at her happiness, the chances of her beating you every time are probably quite slim so let her have this one, and if it affects you so badly, don't play with her again but find something else to do together which wont have such an effect if you should lose. But again I must remind you that you were the one who taught her to play so you should be very pleased with the fact she did so well. Losing to a girl is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if its your girl. I don't see anything to be jealous of, just something to be proud of. Turn your negative into a positive and you'l both come out of this better.
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A
female
reader, mama soph +, writes (6 October 2011):
You should be pleased and proud as punch that she beat you! You taught her! And look what a good job you have done! We all have to lose at something, and the same goes with winning! No matter how good we are at something to lose gives us something to work harder for so as to win next time and better ourselves. I bet your girlfriend was extremely pleased and happy that she won and so she should be as should you at her happiness, the chances of her beating you every time are probably quite slim so let her have this one, and if it affects you so badly, don't play with her again but find something else to do together which wont have such an effect if you should lose. But again I must remind you that you were the one who taught her to play so you should be very pleased with the fact she did so well. Losing to a girl is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if its your girl. I don't see anything to be jealous of, just something to be proud of. Turn your negative into a positive and you'l both come out of this better.
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