A
female
age
30-35,
*olly_Poll
writes:HiaToday I found myself in a situation I've never been in before, and I was just wondering if anyone here could advise me on it :)I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and we've been sexually active for a while now. Today when things were getting heated, he was aroused, but couldn't climax. This obviously worried him, and worried me, because i thought maybe i wasn't good enough. He said it's because he's stressed at work, which I accepted. The point that worries me then, was that he mentioned that this has never happened to him before. And I'm not his first sexual partner. Could it have been due to stress, or am I just not good enough for him? Worrying about this a bit now :/Thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2011): I'm in a similar relationship as you, and something similar happened with my boyfriend, the one in zillion times we've gotten around to things, he couldn't stay hard. I felt terrible and put so much self doubt on myself. I was upset at myself thinking it was me, but he was upset thinking there was something wrong with him. But we brought it down to the fact he was just very very tired. Not sure exactly but it happened one off, so DO NOT worry about it. :)
Guys and girls bodies don't always cooperate with what you want to do. A lot of it is mental, especially in females.
Just don't stress out about it and especially don't bring it up with him so much, he's probably quite embarrassed because of the situation and if you just clear the air and forget about it, much less likely to happen in the future.
A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll +, writes (12 October 2011):
Lolly_Poll is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, i haven't been putting any pressure on him at all. I reassured him that it was totally fine, these were just my own private worries. He's quite a bit older. Thankyou though, very helpful answers :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 October 2011):
If he's around your age, I doubt it's because of stress.
More probbaly, he just had been smoking too much pot. Or, much much more probably, he had been masturbating a bit too often :).
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 That's extremely common, and most of the time is *is* due to stress. It wasn't about you at all. A guy may be able to put on a bold and strong face to you when he's facing stress, but a lot of times his body betrays him during sex.
Other than that, it can happen at random. It's more frequent when alcohol is involved. Sometimes, he can be just so aroused that the plumbing just seems "clogged", so to speak.
Bottom line, don't give it a single thought that it's because of you, because it absolutely isn't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2011): This may come as a surprise, but men are human beings, not sex machines. I've had times with the same woman where I came way to fast (almost instantly), and other times where I didn't come. It has a lot to do with one's mental state at the time, and sometimes it's really hard to know why one's body reacts so differently at different times to virtually identical conditions.My wife freaked out a while back because I didn't come one time out of five zillion times we've been together. I can honestly say I find her to be bar far the hottest woman I've ever been with. She turns me on far more than any other woman on the planet, but my body isn't a machine. I really have no idea why it happened.Don't put any more pressure on the poor guy unless you want to make a huge issue out of it, cause him to start worrying about it, have it happen more often, etc.
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