A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so do I have a right to be angry? I am trying out for cheer. Well, I tried out today (haven't gotten results) but this event takes place before then. So I tried out for freshman cheer, and at my school we have three clinic days where we learn the dance and cheer for tryouts as well as go over jumps and tumbling. I am doing it with a good friend of mine. So I have only told so many people so if I don't make it I don't have to deal with emmense pity and people asking me if I made it over and over when I'll probably want to forget about it. I told a friend of mine today that I was doing it and this is how she responded: "YOU WANNA BE A CHEERLEADER!?!? I HATE cheerleaders!" she repeated this around five times and was literally screaming it. I kept telling her to be quiet but she wouldn't shut up! And she kept talking about it even after i explained how i didn't want to tell anyone. Everyone at my lunch table kept looking over and now they know too. Do I have a right to be angry? Not only was she screaming about my tryout which I was already nervous for, she kept saying bad things about cheer. She said it would make me a total dumb blonde and I'd be such a stereotypical cheerleader. Am I wrong to be angry or am I over reacting? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot really...cheerleading is year round, and practices are every day after school until 5. We were planning on doing the same eop (eop stands for educational opportunity period. Every other wedsday ten minutes is taken off of the other periods and we go to a club or office hours with a teacher during the school day. It works because we have block scheduling) but the eop we were going to do has meetings after school as well and even though they aren't mandatory, my friend says you can't just go to eop, you need the meetings. I don't believe this is true, but my friend can be very stubborn. I'm going to try talking to her again today.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (8 October 2011):
Is there perhaps an extracurricular activity that you and this second friend could plan on trying out for in the winter or spring?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOops i wouldn't want to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! Today at lunch she said "if you make it i will so make fun of you" but when I did make it I texted her n she said in all seriousness I'm really happy for you. However, I have a new problem. I'm doing cheer with a friend of mine, and another friend who knew about it all summer is now upset that we're doing something without her even though we invited her and she said no. She thinks the friend I'm doing it with planned it out so it'd be just us when thats not the case. She keeps saying why didn't you choose something I'd want to do but thats not my problem, right? I did this because I wanted to. Is it ok for me to be annoyed at her for making it such a big deal?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 October 2011):
 You always have a right to your feelings. What you do with them is the key.
You acknowledge that she disagrees with you and accept it. But you also have to tell her that you would like her to respect your choice. And assure her that your being a cheerleader will not change your friendship with her. (but then it's your responsibility to make sure it does not)
Sadly I get why your friend is so upset. When I was in high school many many many MANY years ago... Cheerleaders were elite. they were snobs. they would NOT talk to regualar people... they carried themselves like they were better than others. They only hung out with each other and football players. It was a tight club that no one but cheerleaders were let into.
I hope that's changed over the years....
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 October 2011):
 CaringGuy is absolutely right on the money with this one.
She's *terrified* of losing you as a friend, because she believes that she's not good enough to fit in with the cheerleader clique, and she feels that if you become one, you'll drop her as a friend because you'll grow apart from her.
On the surface, that was an insensitive thing to do and say. However, even though you have every right to be angry and upset, and you are not overreacting, read between the lines of her behavior here and see where it's coming from. You have an opportunity to show kindness and hit the heart of the matter. Tell her that if she hates cheerleaders, she'll have to hate you too because you really want to do this. Tell her that you won't hate her, and you'll be her friend even after you make cheerleader.
But whatever you do, don't give up your pursuit of being a cheerleader. Never let anyone else's insecurity keep you from your dreams.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 October 2011):
 Funny, your friend is stereotyping cheerleaders as being dumb blondes..when some are very smart brunettes and red-heads.
Or course you have a right to be upset with her! Just tell her you don't appreciate her rude comments about cheerleading, and that you would rather her support you. Perhaps give the friendship some distance and her time to apologize.
She doesn't have to like cheerleading or every cheerleader. But if she's any kind of friend and you happen to make the squad, then she will show some respect towards you.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (7 October 2011):
Your friend seems to lack tact and sensitivity. If she really hated cheerleaders, why hasn't she mentioned this to you before? Is it possible that she reacted the way she did because she has low self esteem, is concerned you will no longer be friends if you make the team?I would be angry too if she both didn't respect my wishes about being quiet, then proceeded to insult me. You do have a right to be angry, but it would be best if you handled this situation with grace and class by not stooping to her level and saying nasty things about her. If everyone else in your circle of friends sees you handle this calmly, they will realize that she is overreacting and should be supportive if you in your decision.Finally, kudos to you for putting forth the effort to join a very intensive and rigorous sport. Cheerleading required tons of teamwork, trust, communication, and both physical and mental effort. No dumb stereotypical blonde could ever be a cheerleader.
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