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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I feel as though I am in an impossible situation and don't know which way to turn, can you help! I divorced my wife earlier this year, we have a child between us who is three years old and who I see on a regular basis. I now live with my current partner and her son from her previous relationship. For the last six or seven months my current partner has been making my life very difficult indeed with me seeing my daughter, I have tried to include her and her son in the visits but she just doesn't want to know and has just said that she wants me to see my daughter less, from three times a week to once every other week. I know that if I do that she will be happier but I also know that my daughter will suffer too, not to mention how unhappy I will be if I can't see my little girl that often. What should I do?
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female
reader, howtocope +, writes (1 December 2006):
If your new partner truely loved you she would never even suggested that. Ask her how sh would feel if the tables were turned and she was only able yo see her don every other week. I am in a similar situation, i live w/ my boyfriend who has a child with another woman and id prefer it if he got joint custody so he has the opportunity to watch his daughter grow up. unbelievable she even had the nerve to ask you this. im sorry but i think she is selfish.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006):
Check craigslist for apartments.
You already failed your daughter once by letting her family break up, dont move her to the side because of this cum dump. Who becomes a stripper? Girls who couldnt get attention from their fathers.
Even if the 'partner' backs down on this, I have a feeling that she'll keep trying to make things uncomfortable for the kid. Time to man up and choose your own blood and drop the tramp.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006): You choose your daughter first and that inconsiderate girlfriend whenever.
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (24 November 2006):
 whatever you do, don't stop seeing your daughter less. that is ***not*** something your current partner can bargain about. make that clear to her. be firm and straight with your new girlfriend, explaining that there's no question of you reducing visits to your daughter. you can't trade your daughter's happiness for your current girlfriend's. it might be difficult and perhaps you will lose your partner, but but BUT you need to be there for your daughter until the day you die and if your new partner is not going to be a part of that then perhaps its best if you find out now. this sounds really harsh, but now you have the responsibility to your daughter, any relationship that doesn't allow you take a full role in her life just has to go. make it clear to your new partner, and hopefully she will see sense and turn around. hoepfully she will see how unreasonable she is being. good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 November 2006):
 You've been with this woman for how long? And already she thinks she's more important than your own daughter? If she was separated from her son, you wouldn't ask her to stop seeing him, would you?
Family is crucial. You don't want your daughter thinking you love a woman who you've known for less than a year more than you love your daughter who has known and trusted you for three years, right?
If you truly love your daughter, nothing will ever be able to keep you from her. You don't want to be the one who makes your daughter suffer or cry. A father is very important in a daughter's life.
If you have unconditional love for your daughter, you'll make the right decision.
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A
female
reader, des16  +, writes (24 November 2006):
 your daughter should mean more to you than your new partner. she has no right to make you see less of your daughter!!!
your little girl needs you now more than ever.
shes probably confused at the fact her mummy and daddy arent together anymore.
you need to reasure her that you will aways be there and will always love her and dont break your promices.
my dad left when i was three.
i remember it to this day. sitting outside of our front room listening while my mum kicked him out. i cried and thought it was all my fault. i know know different, but it was so upsetting enough to know i wouldnt see my dad every day. i only got to see him every other 2 weeks for the weekend. working out at 4 days a month. it killed me as it probably will for your daughter.
if your ex is willing for you to see her 3 times a week then make the most of it.
as for your new partner ask her how she would feel to be told to only see her child once a week or a fortnight!!!
she is being very crule.
i would say sorry to you for sounding nasty towards her but im not.
if my dad was told not to see me or cut short our time together, that he chose his girlfriend over me then he would lose me.
follow your heart and i hope you make the right choice for yours and your daughters sake.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): Basically you are being asked to choose between your daughter- your flesh and blood- your family and a woman whom you have know fro how long? less than a year?
Shame on you- how is this a dilemma? If this woman loves you she would never put you in a position where you would be miserable and you would have to choose between her and your daughter.
I don't see how this is an "impossible situation" it's pretty easy. Choose your daughter!
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