A
female
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*strid
writes:Is it a good idea to date guys on the internet if you find difficult to meet new people?
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female
reader, PrettySoul  +, writes (12 April 2009):
Hey all, I don't think dating on-line is good idea, if that guy is living in another country. If you meet someone online or in other place, it will be the same issue about knowing him, what do you feel, chemistry or not etc. It helps more tp the one who is shy to get into the social network, but still my advice to you not to fall into charming look or a lovely smile. My story is really painful, I met a guy on-line, we chat for a month and half, we had really many things in common, We developed feelings for each other everyday. He is living in another country but it didn't stop him to come and visit me for 4 days, as we had this great feelings for each other, it got stronger after we met, it happened that we jump to the 2nd stage without planning for it, but then after he travelled not just a week, started to mention his ex gf and how much he felt great with her (btw she left me cause she didnt love him that much as he did). he loves me but not that much as he loved her, he wanted more, and he this love is not enough, I loved him so deep while it was short time, even he told me you love me more than I love you.He was so good in treating me like a queen all that time... of course I am hurt and in shock, I feel that I have been used and he disrespected me.The way he ended it with me by telling me: you will find the right one for you... I can't give you what you need...you are a very good woman.. the problem is me not you... you did your best, but I need to find the happiness inside of me not in others.. I need time... I am not ready for a long term relation( while he said before that he is so serious and he loves me,even we spoke about me moving to him and start from there and see what will happen).He ended by chatting with no talking (by voice), cause he cant confront me, he is not man enough.. it took few mins to write to me and end it without even wait for my answer and then he went offline.It sounds awful and it hurt me alot, I am not a naive person but I love from the heart and so loyal.I really hope for every woman or girl out there to be careful and NOT to fall in this trap like me cause I know now he is chasing the next prey.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (29 November 2006):
 ?You old? You're only 29 years old. Most women don't even start their sexual peaks until in their thirties.
Online is a path to dating others but don't sell yourself short. The secret to attracting men isn't age, hair color, breast size, or weight but confidence. If you lack confidence it will show even online and you will become a target.
Take time to learn what an amazing, beautiful woman you are and build that confidence and you won't have a problem meeting men anywhere you go.
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A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (28 November 2006):
Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot for your helpful advise It gets difficult for me to meet people and I've decided to try a date with an internet guy though I'm scared of many of the things u have mention and the necesity to be careful though all the boys I know are either engaged or not interested in stable relationships and the couple of boyz after me are not interesting for me so I think I'll have a go while trying to imporve social life though it's getting more difficult as I grow old
thanks very much
lots of love for u all
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A
male
reader, Gandalph12 +, writes (28 November 2006):
Hi as a guy who has used the Internet for meeting women , I would advise ladies to avoid it , most men on the net are liars they place profiles stating unmarried or dont admit to any attachment ,all lies ! The internet if used wisely is a wonderful tool, but in this respect women beware. These men are after one thing sex !!! and they are completely unscrupulous they will tell you they love you and you are the one and a week after they have used and abused you they are history and leaving you feeling cheap and a victim !!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Like everyone says, it's not such a bad idea, but it can be dangerous. Don't be giving out your phone number right away. If you meet someone you like, meet them in a VERY public place WITH a friend the first couple times.
I met my boyfriend online (which I never expected. I never had issues meeting guys regularly). The first time I met him, it was with a friend of mine at Starbucks. We also had two guy friends stop by Starbucks to make sure he wasn't creepy or anything.
Turns out, the guy I met was really great (and SUPER hot. No joke. Johnny Depp hot), and we've been dating a year and a half. He's marvelous and the perfect guy for me.
Who knows where your love is hiding? Maybe he lives next door to you... or maybe he lives in New Zealand and you'll meet him through the internet.'
Just BE CAREFUL.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, colette +, writes (27 November 2006):
I hadn't ever tried looking for a date before but when i moved to london and was trying to find people with common interests, i went on gumtree. i met with a couple of people, but i think it's a case of trial and error... In specifying likes and interests you'll know what the person is really like as opposed to someone you are just physically attracted to on a night out. I suppose you have to be slightly cautious, but the risk is probably the same as meeting someone again after the first, second or third night after seeing them. I didn't stay in touch with the two people i met,and in fact i've just come out of a strange relationship with someone i met on gumtree after moving back up north, but i'd say keep an open mind...There's nothing to lose and plenty to gain from the experiences...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Everyone has given you sound advice. I personally think meeting in a bar is not such a good idea. Men there may just be out for "a bit of fun" and you really don't know much about them, either!
My recommendation is to try both the internet and various social organizations and/or activities you're involved in and which interest you.
If you do meet someone online, as everyone has said, take it slow; don't give out personal info like your phone number, or your address. After a few emails online you could talk on the phone if there are no red flags, and see how that goes. Then if you decide to meet, make sure its in a public place and get there and home afterwards under your own steam. Don't accept a lift on the first date!
Watch out for anyone who talks about money and seems to want you to "lend" him some.....or a man who gets sexually explicit......or one who, when you ask him questions, is evasive and doesn't give believable answers. One tip: a way to test whether a man is married (or living with a partner) is to ask him if he'd be willing to give you his home phone number (not just his cell). Any married man who would give out his home number is very foolish......
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Shorti +, writes (27 November 2006):
i dont feel that dating a guy on the internet is wrong or stupid, it may well boost your confidence which would be great and would be a step in the right direction for you meeting new people. However i wouldnt rush into anything and i certainly wouldnt meet up with this guy just yet, have time to get to know each other properly and make sure your honest with him, then when and if you do meet it shouldnt be as awkward.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Dear BabyGirl: But how can you really be sure he is not secrely a deformed middle-aged severely over-weight raincoat wearing lollypop-giving stalker weirdo bad-personal-hygene freakoid? maybe he just hides it well and seems amazing?
In answer to the question though I think dating people from the Internet can be a really great thing! People seem to think it is worse than meeting someone in a club, or bar. I don't get that logic. At all. There are just as many weirdo perves that go out in public than sit on the Internet, perhaps more so. Sometimes the Internet can allow you to meet like-minded people, that sets you up to have a lot of things in common. I met my completely gorgeously amazingly hot girlfriend via the Internet, and I'm not so sure if things would ever have worked out in real life, because I am shy and probably wouldn't have a approached such a beautiful girl, and she is a little shy too, so she would have seemed, to me, to not be interested in me any way. The internet allowed us to get to know each other, and it was some time before we even saw each others pictures. To find out she was stunningly attractive was just an added bonus.
There is nothing wrong with meeting, and dating people from the Internet, in fact, I'd recommend it. The only thing I'd say is take things carefully, don't give out personal details until you feel you can trust them and never meet up in secret. I'd give that advice to anyone, in any situation. It's not like you wouldn't give this advice to someone who happens to meet someone in a bar, or club, or on the street, would you?
Go for it. But do watch out, obviously. Just as there are players in real life, there are also players on the Internet. They know exactly what to say, and write, to a girl, to make it seem like they are special, caring, loving, and that they think the world of that girl. You form an opinion of them overtime, with the things they do, not say.
Good luck!!!!
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 how will dating guys on the internet make meeting new people easier?
not saying not to, but dont give up hope till all hope is lost, going out to pubs with friends, going clubs, etc, are ways you can both have fun, and if your lucky meet somebody, but dont go out thinking 'im gonna meet some1 tonight' go out to have fun with friends, and somebody will come to you. if you find it difficult to meet new people let the new people come to you, after all, one out of the 2 needs to make the first steps.
By all means try online dating, but dont give up doing it the...erm, old fashioned way. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, eidden06 +, writes (27 November 2006):
Dating people online is just as risky as meeting someone at a club or somewhere else. I've used a few online dating services, but my favorite was match.com. I found that the men I dated were mostly honest. In one particular issue, the guy lied about his height, but it was obvious when I met him, which then you make your decision. I've tried dating the traditional way and also online, and I have had the same results in dealing with chemistry, no chemistry, liars, etc. I'm currently engaged and I met him online. My advice is to start slow, by emailing, talking on the phone, etc. If it feels right, then set up a date in a local spot and take it from there. Good luck!
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