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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I have a major problem and I have no idea how to handle it. My fiance, the love of my life and very best friend was killed in a car accident 7 years ago. Since then I have moved on and have now been with a man that knew my fiancee for almost 4yrs. We have a two year old child and I should by now be happy......but i'm not. I don't know how to get over my loss and start living my new life.HELP!!
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 hi there
im glad we could help. just remember time and life are the best healers. keep pushing that pain and sadness away and one day you will move past it.
all the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone that posted advice. I come here when i'm feeling a little down and read the answer again and again and it certainly makes me feel like I am not crazy ;)
I am moving on but some days are worse than others. I believe that I can live a happy life but I will never forget him and will always wish I still had him to share things with. Losing your best friend just isn't something that you can ever let go of.
Thanks again, i'm feeling much better these days!
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (13 November 2006):
hello,
I am sorry about ur fiancé. I think u need to start believing that u have moved past that as healing comes from within, u need to allow urself to grief as much as u can it is good for u and it is the best therapy in the whole universe. Do not pretend u are happy when u are not bcos it will make u bottle things in and the day will come when ur body wont take it anymore and u might get urself sick, so there is nothing wrong with u feeling unhappy it is expected under the circumstances but life goes on, u have a family now learn to accept what happened so that u can be able to be the mother ur child can rely on bcos a pain like this can make us neglect ourselves and everything around us.
I can honestly tell u this, u can never forget what happened but u can treasure all the good memories u had with him, no death can take that away from u its urs embrace it. It is understandable 4u to feel like u cant move on death is a terrible thing and we cant get used to it no matter how many loved ones can be lost in our lives every time it happens it always feel like it’s the first time that’s why we all have to find a way to deal with it in a positive way. Now that u have a child and a man in ur life u need to concentrate on them because the fact that u were able to open ur heart to another man it is evident that u have moved on. I also understand u are still traumatized by this unforgettable event so I suggest u try grief counseling and u are very lucky that the person u are with now actually knows what u went thru, so he can easily understand what u are going thru just trust him enough to share ur fears with him he will be a much greater help. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): The love of ur life still lives..but in your heart deary..when u smile..he smiles with u..and when ur sad...he crys with u..i gurantee u..he went up to heaven and made sure u was blessd with ur new partner and child..embrace them..love life..because ur living it for him too..donttt be down bcuz its over..smile because all your memories happend. God bless u and urs..friend x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): I think you owe it to yourself and your family and friends to try and move on. I really feel so sorry for you losing you fiance. You must of felt your world had fell apart. I am sure your fiance wouldn't of wanted you to put your life through so much misery. I think you do need to speak to some professional body about all of this to try and unburden your mind and set yourself free. I wish you well and hope you can acquire the peace of mind that you so deserve.
Best Wishes
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): My partner died some years ago, he committed suicide. For years i couldnt let it go and like you i thought about him daily. Then someone suggested berievement councelling and it was the best thing that i could have done. It helped me put my life back in some sort of order and reason, it helped me look forward and now i have 2 lovely kids and a great partner who im happy with. You will always miss him but would he want you to be miserable for the rest of your life? Of course he wouldnt, he would want you to be happy just like you were when he was here. You seem to have a caring man now and a child to bring up so let him go now and live life as a happy family just like he would have wanted for you two. It time to stop grieving and start living again that way you can honour is memory in a positive way, all my best wishes to you and yours xxx.
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 I'm sorry about you but you should try to move on however hard it seems, try to no stay in the house thinking but go nto a gym or social club, try to be entertained all day so you do not have the time to thik about the past and I think your dead love is with you taking care of you and making sure you're with the best person you could be and will help you to find the peace you lack and he wont find unless you let him go and rest as we all will one day, you've been blessed with a son and a family who loves you do not feel guilty you have suffered enough let live take you like a wave is taken to shore, trust the spititual so it can help your daily life
lots of love
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 I read your post and I was so deeply saddened by it. I offer all the condolences and sympathy in the world.
The only thing I can really offer you is this: I think you should seek some therapy. Not because I think you're screwed up - not even, I think that wounds like this are deep and take more than yourself to heal. Are you religious, because if you are I'd really recommend going to your pastor or priest for some guidance as well.
I'm so sorry darlin', I'm so sad for you. I really recommend talking to someone other than yourself.
Sincerely,
India
xx
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