A
male
age
30-35,
*rax
writes:I've been dating a girl for the past year and a half now, we've had time to grow up, fight, cry, laugh and all the other good stuff together and I'm ready to tie the knot but the problem is, I don't know how to do it, do I do it on a holiday with all the good ones coming up that will be easy, or do I do it on an important date between us? How do I do it? Do I take her to a romantic place, or just spring it on her in the kitchen, I'm horrible with commitment, I'm not a cheater or anything like that but it sort of scares me and I hate throwing myself out there, I guess I should just be asking for advice or how it happened to you/how you did it.. or what you think would be best. I just need a basic idea not an exact script, so nervous but so ready... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (25 November 2008):
I got married when I was 19. In hindsight I wish I had waited, b/c though I didn't know it then, I was too young to know yet what it was I really wanted, and though I thought I knew how to have a relationship and how to handle a marriage, in reality I really didn't. At the age of 47, I am still learning these things! Two years later we separated, two years after that we divorced.But, no matter what anyone tells you, you are ultimately going to do what you want to do. When the time is right, relax, and just follow your heart...it will come to you.Though we are currently having trust issues, my fiance proposed to me in a very romantic, thoughtful, and original way...he wrote a letter that referenced certain details of my own life (my parents, things I enjoy, etc.) The style of the letter was poetic and of colonial times (I love history and antiques, so this was very fitting). He had a caligrapher draft the letter onto parchment paper and placed it in a black shipping tube. We were away for the weekend. The mountain village had castle ruins on a hillside. We went there b/c I wanted to photograph it. He ran up inside, came back down, and claimed to have found this tube just lying on the ground. He opened it, pulled out the letter, and started reading it to me. Though I was hearing the personal references, they were so cryptic that I did not catch on as to what was unfolding in front of me. Not until the very end of the letter, where he talked about dreams coming true, then that magical question "will you marry me?". I was so caught up in the moment that I said yes, though previous (I suspected he had a ring and was going to propose) I had told all my friends that when he asked me, I was going to say no. Here we are over a year later, still engaged...and my refusing to set a date until I am sure this is going to work.Moral of the story is...all the love and romance in the world cannot replace trust. If you don't have that, the backbone of your relationship will be broken. Not to rain on your parade, but please take your time, and be sure. If nothing else, yes, have a long engagement. You can be engaged indefinitely and have the commitment to be with only each other, without having to get married right away.Good luck to you if and when the time comes.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 November 2008):
 A long engagement is a great idea... take some time to get to really solidify your relationship and decision to spend your lives with each other. If you feel ready to get engaged and you're positive she's the one, go for it, sweetness. A long engagement would be the next responsible step to take.
What a great boyfriend you are - maybe you should talk to mine about getting ME a ring!! Haha.
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (25 November 2008):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the question i know it's early to get engaged but i was thinking of a long engagement.. would that help to clarify my actions?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (24 November 2008):
I agree that I think it's still a little soon to be popping the question and that you're a little young. A year and a half isn't very long... I'm on year 3 with the love of my life, but we're not engaged yet - just really enjoying the pre-marriage lightness of our relationship. Get her a ring, but just as a gift. A promise ring or something, not an engagement ring. She will love it just as much!
But, if you do really want to propose, I wouldn't do it on a day that's already special to you. I would want a marriage proposal to happen on a day when I don't expect it - and then that day will be special for the rest of my life. Do you think she would like an impromptu proposal? Does she like random surprises? Is she into spontaneity? Or is she more of a romantic who wants to be romanced all evening before the magical proposal? You know her best! Definitely personalize the proposal just for her.
Good luck!!
xx India
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A
female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 First you have to make sure you are ready and this is what you REALLY want. A year and a half is not a long time. I've been with my partner for 5 years and we're not engaged. We will when were both ready but what's the rush.
Your very young i'm 24 my partner is 22.
If you have thought about this and it's really what you want, then i would suggest a picnic just you and her, flowers and all her faviourte foods. That's what i would want. But you no you g/f what does she find romantic.
I have a feeling you will no when/what is right for you both
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