A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been friends with this girl since we were teenagers and I've been in love with her since we became friends. It must be thirteen years all in all. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, we share the same interests, she is just perfect inside and out and I would be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about her. I've had to hide my despair when she would be dating someone and it would tear me to pieces but nothing ever lasted.I came to the decision that I would let it go and I'm about to emigrate to Australia in the next couple of months to start a new life. I went round to my friend's house to tell her I would be leaving for Australia. We sat down on the settee and I was about to tell her when she said that she wanted to tell me something first. She said that she must have been blind not to notice all these years but she's in love with me. It was what I've wanted to hear for more than a decade and I told her that I've always been in love with her, but I had to tell her I was leaving the country. She was devastated and started crying. She said that she doesn't want to be without me and I don't want to be without her. I want to ask her to join me in Australia and we can start a new life together. We both work in the same field and I think I would be able to get her a job working at the same place that I will be. But why now? Why did she suddenly admit that she loves me after all these years? She keeps asking me to make love with her but I don't want it to be for the next few weeks, I want it to be forever. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 March 2009):
 Who knows why she left it until now, but really...who cares?! She has told you she loves you, this should make you so happy rather than wanting to question why now?
She might not have realised all these years that you are perfect for her, it might be fate, it could be anything! But none of this matters, what matters is what you do next.
I think it is a lot to ask for her to move to Australia, she will be leaving her friends and family, when she hasnt even been in a relationship with you for more than a couple of weeks. You may need to prepare yourself that she may see no - it might be a bit too much too soon. Is there anyway you can stay in the UK? I know you will have made lots of plans but you said the reason why you were moving to Australia was to move on from this girl and start a new life. So now, you dont actually need to do this because you finally have the girl of your dreams, if there is any way you could stay in the UK I would suggest you do this.
One other thing to add, it is a terrible idea to get her a job at the same company as you in Australia (this is going off the basis that she might say yes to coming with you). Working together, living together and spending all of your time together will be a disaster. Think about it - this is a new relationship, a new job and a new country. You will only know each other so all your spare time will be spent together until you make friends - therefore working together will be too much. You will only last a year, no more than that if you do this.
I hope you understand what you are asking of this girl to come with you. It is your dream and your plans, you have made all of the arrangements whereas she will still have a house, bills etc that cant just be tied up in a few weeks. She may end up only moving over there to be with you - she will become dependent on you for everything. She will be lonely and unhappy, with no-one to turn to because she wont want to spoil your dream of living out there. And what if you dont work out? I know right now you will be very happy and in love, but there is always a chance you wont stay together. Then what will she do? She will resent you for taking her out to Australia if the relationship ends because you will have basically "stolen" that time in her life for nothing.
I hope this helps and I hope you think about your decision carefully. You can find another job, and cancel plans pretty easily. But the love of your life doesnt come along very often, it is something you should hold onto with both hands.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, CandyCakes  +, writes (19 March 2009):
That's great really, that she loves you too. She might have never noticed that you were interested. She might have just put you in the friend category, before opening her eyes and seeing that there was a real opportunity for a relationship there. Ask her if she will go with you to Australia. But remember, this is so new that she might not be able to, since you don't have a long term relationship. Can you not move away?
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